Oilfield Joke: The Phone Call

The company safety meeting was over and Tom the Toolpusher and his associates congregated at a nearby watering hole in Odessa.  They slid some tables together and it was bedlam with people coming and going and all talking at the same time.  A cell phone rang and Tom snatched it up, engaged the hands-free speaker-function and answered. Everyone at the table stopped talking to listen. Tom: "Hello" Woman: "Honey, it's me. Is the safety meeting over?"  Tom: “Yep” Woman: "I'm at the mall and found this beautiful leather coat. It's only $1,000. Can I buy it?" Tom: "Sure... Go ahead if you like it that much." Woman: "I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership. I saw one I really liked." Tom: "How much?" Woman: "$65,000" Tom: "OK, but for that price I want it with all the options." Woman: "Great! Oh, and one more thing... The house I wanted last year is back on the market. They're asking $700,000." Tom: "Well, then go ahead and give them an offer, but only for $650,000." Woman: "OK. I'll see you later! I love you!" Tom: "Bye, I love you, too." Tom ended the call and there was complete silence as everyone stared at him with astonishment and awe.  Tom  held up the phone and innocently asked. “Anyone know whose phone this is?”

  

Time is running out!  Do not miss the North Texas Sporting Clay Classic on September 6-7 at Elm Fork in Dallas. 

North Texas Sporting Clay Classic Brochure 

or the Permian Basin Sporting Clay Classic on November 1-2 at Windwalker Farms.

Permian Basin Sporting Clay Classic Brochure 

Morning and Afternoon rotations are almost full. 

Have Fun! Support a Great Cause and Get in front of your Customers like our current sponsors and supporters have!

Mark your Calendars and Plan to support the upcoming Oilfield Appreciation Days in North Texas and the Permian Basin! 

Oilfield Appreciation Days support Oilfield Worker Health, Education and Welfare efforts, locally and abroad.. 

We Want Your Support by way of shooters, sponsors and volunteers. Call Scott at 940-393-6200

      

 

   

• Tons of Guns and over $50,000 in Giveaways, someone from each team will win something!
• 7 day All Inclusive Sports fishing Vacation for Two to Costa Rica (airfare from Dallas included) 
• 4 Person 3 day Dove Hunt in Cordoba Argentina
• 2 Person Whitetail and Exotic Trophy Hunt in the Texas Hill Country
• 4 Person Upland Game bird Hunt
• 4 Person Spring Turkey Hunt
• 4 Person Waterfowl Hunt
• 4 Person Night time Hog and Predator Hunt
• 2 Person Helicopter Hog and Predator Hunt
• and much much more..... 

For Online Details for Both Events >>Click Here<< 

Oilfield Joke: The Company Man

A company man in a hot air balloon realized he was lost. He reduced altitude and spotted a Man below. He descended a bit more and shouted, "Excuse me,
can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I
don't know where I am."

The Man below replied, "You're in a hot air balloon hovering
approximately 30 feet above the ground. You're between 40 and 41 degrees
north latitude and between 59 and 60 degrees west longitude."

"You must be a Drilling Engineer," said the Company Man. 

"I am," replied the Man,
"How did you know?"

"Well," answered the Company Man, "everything you told me is, technically
correct, but I've no idea what to make of your information, and the fact
is I'm still lost. Frankly, you've not been much help at all. If anything,
you've delayed my trip."

The Drilling Engineer below responded, "You must be a Company Man." "I am," replied the Company Man, "but how did you know?"

"Well," said the Drilling Engineer, "you don't know where you are or where you're going. You have risen to where you are due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise which you've no idea how to keep, and you expect people beneath you to solve your problems. The fact is you are in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but now, somehow, it's my fault."

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Time is running out!  Do not miss the North Texas Sporting Clay Classic on September 6-7 at Elm Fork in Dallas. 

North Texas Sporting Clay Classic Brochure 

Permian Basin Sporting Clay Classic Brochure 

Morning and Afternoon rotations are almost full. 

Have Fun! Support a Great Cause and Get in front of your Customers like our current sponsors and supporters have!

Mark your Calendars and Plan to support the upcoming Oilfield Appreciation Days in North Texas and the Permian Basin! 

Oilfield Appreciation Days support Oilfield Worker Health, Education and Welfare efforts, locally and abroad.. 

We Want Your Support by way of shooters, sponsors and volunteers. Call Scott at 940-393-6200

      

 

   

• Tons of Guns and over $50,000 in Giveaways, someone from each team will win something!
• 7 day All Inclusive Sports fishing Vacation for Two to Costa Rica (airfare from Dallas included) 
• 4 Person 3 day Dove Hunt in Cordoba Argentina
• 2 Person Whitetail and Exotic Trophy Hunt in the Texas Hill Country
• 4 Person Upland Game bird Hunt
• 4 Person Spring Turkey Hunt
• 4 Person Waterfowl Hunt
• 4 Person Night time Hog and Predator Hunt
• 2 Person Helicopter Hog and Predator Hunt
• and much much more..... 

For Online Details for Both Events >>Click Here<< 

Oilfield Joke of the Day: Retired

A man retires after 50 years in the oilfield. He is hanging around the house and gets bored, so he goes down to the nieghborhood bar.
He's having a couple of beers and starts a conversation with the bartender. The bartender asks him what he does. The guy says he just retired after 50 years in the oil patch.
The bartender says "wow! 50 years huh? You must know all there is to know about drilling an oil well".
The guy chuckles and says "no. I don't figure i know half of it."
the bartender is amazed. He says "you mean you worked in the oil business for 50 years and you don't know all there is to know about it?"
guy says " no, not by a long shot."
bartender says "well just how long do you have to work in the oilfield to know all there is to know about it?"
the man thought a second and says "usually about 6 months!"

Sponsor Up!

Several Great upper tier sponsorships are still available that offer great exposure by way of positive company participation to our audience of Oil & Gas industry decision makers consisting of Exploration and Production companies, Drilling Contractors, Well Servicing Contractors, Landmen, Geologists and Engineers and more. (If you sell products or services to the oilfield, this is a great way to see and be seen) Please review the sponsor links which shows our most recent updates to our corporate sponsorship levels that start as low as $250.   We hope to raise and give away over $100,000 before the years end, please consider supporting these very worthwhile Oilfield Appreciation Events, that help oilfield families in financial crisis, continuing education for laid off workers and scholarships for men and women wishing to contribute to our industry.    Thanks in advance for your kind consideration of corporate financial support.  Do Something Great...Donate!  - We have added a Thursday PM flight to the Permian Basin event to accommodate those wishing to shoot early.   - We have also added more than $30,000 of hunting, fishing and adventure trips to give away.     To Download each Oilfield Appreciation Day Brochure and Registration Paperwork, click on the selections below:    North Texas Oilfield Appreciation Days Sporting Clays Classic and Cook Off at  Elm Fork in Dallas Texas on September 6-7, 2012       Permian Basin Oilfield Appreciation Days Sporting Clays Classic and Cook Off at Windwalker Farms near Midland Texas on November 1-2, 2012    The Oil and Gas Exploration and Production Industry has historically been a very cyclical industry that fatigues even the best of equipment and personnel. If we as an industry do not invest in health, education and welfare programs,  we will lose our most valuable assets...... our hard working people. Oilfield Appreciation Days support Oilfield Worker Health, Education and Welfare efforts, locally and abroad.. Our Mission: Oilfield Appreciation Days are held through-out the year in areas with high concentrations of oilfield families. These events will serve as fundraisers that will in turn be used to benefit a variety of health, education and welfare programs and charities that stay in direct contact with oilfield workers and their families    Call Scott Huggins - Oilfield Appreciation Days Event Coordinator  at 940-393-6200 or email scott@OilfieldAppreciation.com for details.     PS.  Please help us get the word out to the people on your lists by forwarding this email to the people in your organization that would support this effort. NOTE: Even if you or your company cannot attend these events, Please help support this effort by  >;>CLICKING HERE<<  for ways to help. Thank you in advance!

Oilfield Joke of the day:

We have heard this one before, but it is worth revisiting:

A tourist walked into a pet store and was looking at the animals on display. While he was there, a petroleum engineer from a nearby office walked in and said to the storekeeper, "I'll take a rig hand monkey please." 


The storekeeper nodded, went to the side of the store, and took out a monkey. He put a collar and leash on the animal and handed it to the engineer, saying, "That'll be $2000." The man paid and left with the monkey." 


The surprised tourist went to the storekeeper and said, "That was a very expensive monkey. Most monkeys are only a few hundred dollars. Why did that one cost so much?" The storekeeper answered, "Ah, that's a rig monkey. He can rig up, plan rig moves, rewind motors, tail pipe, paint, pull maintenance, all with no back talk or complaints. It's well worth the money." 


The tourist then spotted a monkey in another cage. "That one's even more expensive!! $10,000 !! What does it do??" he asked. "Oh, that one" replied the storekeeper. " That's a Rig Manager monkey. It can instruct at levels of maintenance, run the safety program, deal with clients, and even do some paper work. A very useful monkey indeed." 


The tourist looked around a little longer and found a third monkey in a cage. The price tag was $50,000. The shocked tourist exclaimed, "This one costs more than all the others put together !!. What in the world can it do??". "Actually," said the shopkeeper, "I've never really seen him do anything but drink beer and whiskey and make alot of noise, but his papers say he's a Company Man."

You Are Invited to the Oilfield Appreciation Days Sporting Clays Classics

You Are Invited to the

Oilfield Appreciation Days

Sporting Clays Classics

Benefiting Oilfield Worker Health, Education and 

Welfare Programs

North Texas Sporting Clays Classic - September 6-7, 2012 at 

Elm Fork in Dallas

and

Permian Basin Sporting Clays Classic - November 1-2, 2012 at Windwalker Farms near Midland

Registration is Open


Sponsorships are Available

Sunset Eclipse in Odessa Texas