Wednesday, May 18, 2016

Oilfield Joke: The Elderly Oilman tries technology..

While he was visiting, my father, a retired Oil and Gas man, was grinning ear to ear when he reached into his pocket to retrieve his phone. 

He had decided to get himself a "smart phone" to be able to keep up with the grand kids via social media and his production activity via an application. 

Unfortunately for him, this new fangled technology had him very lost in a world of new words and phrases.  

As proud as a peacock, he tried out some of his new vocabulary when asked for the password to our "Wi-Fi".

“It’s taped under the modem,” 
I told him.

After three failed attempts to log on, he asked,

 “Am I spelling this right? 


Join us for our 2016 Oilfield Appreciation Sporting Clay Events: 

  • July 29th, 2016 – 5th Annual NORTH TEXAS SPORTING CLAY CLASSIC at the Dallas Gun Club in Lewisville, Texas.
  • September 9th, 2016 – 5th Annual PERMIAN BASIN SPORTING CLAY CLASSIC at Jake’s Clays in Midland, Texas.
  • December  9th, 2016 – 4th Annual LAST BLAST SPORTING CLAY CLASSIC at Westside Sporting Grounds in Katy, Texas.
For more information about Oilfield Appreciation Event Sponsorship and Registrations. Please Contact the Event Coordinator at or by phone at 800-277-1647
We appreciate our past sponsors

Tuesday, May 10, 2016

Oilfield Joke: 29 Useless but Interesting Facts...

All of the clocks in movie Pulp Fiction are stuck on 4:20.

If she were life size, Barbie's measurements would be: 39-23-33.

No word in the English language rhymes with month, orange, silver or purple.

"Dreamt" is the only English word that ends in the letters "mt".

All 50 states are listed across the top of the Lincoln Memorial on the back of the $5 bill.

Almonds are members of the peach family.

Winston Churchill was born in a ladies' room during a dance.

Maine is the only state whose name is just one syllable.

There are only four words in the English language which end in"-dous": tremendous, horrendous, stupendous, and hazardous.

The longest place-name still in use is: Taumatawhakatangihangakoauauotamateaturipukakapikimaungahoronukupokaiwenuakitanatahu, a New Zealand hill.

Los Angeles's full name is "El Pueblo de Nuestra Senora la Reina de los Angeles de Porciuncula" and can be abbreviated to 3.63% of its size, "L.A.".

A cat has 32 muscles in each ear.

An ostrich's eye is bigger than it's brain.

Tigers have striped skin, not just striped fur.

In most advertisements, including newspapers, the time displayed on a watch is 10:10.

Al Capone's business card said he was a used furniture dealer.

The only real person to be a Pez head was Betsy Ross.

The characters Bert and Ernie on Sesame Street were named after Bert the cop and Ernie the taxi driver in Frank Capra's "Its A Wonderful Life".

A goldfish has a memory span of three seconds.

A dime has 118 ridges around the edge.

On an American one-dollar bill, there is an owl in the upper left-hand corner of the "1" encased in the "shield" and a spider hidden in the front upper right-hand corner.

The giant squid has the largest eyes in the world.

The name for Oz in the "Wizard of Oz" was thought up when the creator, Frank Baum, looked at his filing cabinet and saw A-N, and O-Z, hence "Oz". 

The microwave was invented after a researcher walked by a radar tube and a chocolate bar melted in his pocket.

Mr. Rogers was an ordained minister.

John Lennon's first girlfriend was named Thelma Pickles.

The average person falls asleep in seven minutes.

There are 336 dimples on a regulation golf ball.

Assuming proper typing, "Stewardesses" is the longest word that is typed with only the left hand. 

Join us this Thursday May 12th, in San Antonio for the 5th annual 
Oilfield Appreciation South Texas Sporting Clay Classic at the National Shooting Complex. 

We are still accepting Individual and 4 Shooter Teams. 

Call 800-277-1647 for more info or to register.  

Wednesday, May 4, 2016

Oilfield Joke: Oil and Gas Operator Seeks Advice

The oil and gas operator was in a big financial trouble... 

 He had bought and contracted several thousand acres of minerals thinking that the area was the next big play, and instead, it was a bust.  It was so bad he was even contemplating becoming a roughneck again.

As a last resort, he went to see a priest and poured out his story of tears and woe.

When he finished, the priest said, "Here's what I want you to do... Put a beach chair and a Bible in your car and drive up in the mountains to the lake. Take the chair and the Bible to the water's edge, sit down in the chair, and put the Bible in your lap. Open the Bible... The wind will rifle the pages, but finally the open Bible will come to rest on a page. Look down at the page and read the first thing you see. That will be your answer... That will tell you what to do."

A year later the oil and gas operator was back to see the priest. The operator was driving a new Lincoln and wearing a pair of high-dollar boots and an expensive felt hat. The operator pulled an envelope stuffed with money out of his pocket and gave it to the priest as a donation in thanks for the advice.

The priest recognized the benefactor, and was curious. "You did as I suggested?" he asked.

"Absolutely," replied the oil and gas operator.

"You went to the lake?"


"You sat in a beach chair with the Bible on your lap?"


"You let the pages rifle until they stopped?"


"And what were the first words you saw?"

"Chapter 11."
What are you doing next Thursday? 
join us for the

Wednesday, December 10, 2014

Oilfield Joke: Praying for Leroy the Roughneck...

In a Louisiana church one Sunday morning, a preacher said, "Anyone with 'special needs' who wants to be prayed over, please come forward to the front by the altar." 

With that, a roughneck named Leroy got in line, and when it was his turn, the Preacher asked, "Leroy, what do you want me to pray about for you?" 

Leroy replied, "Preacher man, I need you to pray for help with my hearing." 

The preacher put one finger of one hand in Leroy's ear, placed his other hand on top of Leroy's head, and then prayed and prayed and prayed.

He prayed a "blue streak" for Leroy, and the whole congregation joined in with great enthusiasm.

After a few minutes, the preacher removed his hands, stood back and asked, "Leroy, how is your hearing now?"

Leroy answered, "I don't know. It ain't 'til Thursday."
Thank you for an Awesome 2014! 

The 6 events this year raised over $240,000 for Oilfield Health, Education and Welfare efforts. 

Oilfield Appreciation finished the year with a Blast!!! 

The 2nd Annual Last Blast event held at Rio Brazos featured 545 shooters and was the official closing of the Rio Brazos facility. To see the scores, click here.  

A special Thank You to all of the sponsors, 2600 plus shooters and volunteers that made this year a great one. 

We are looking forward to a major announcement from a new underwriter for our 2015 Oilfield Appreciation Events including sporting clays, golf tournaments and much more... stay tuned! 

Oilfield Appreciation Events are "Give Back" types of events that support Oilfield Worker Health, Education and Welfare programs and supporting charities. 

The funds or donations that are left over after the events are donated to local oilfield association chapters scholarship funds, Oilfield Health and Welfare Charities and the local Children's Homes. 

 None of this could be accomplished without the generous support from the caring individuals and companies listed below.

On behalf of the men, women and children that benefit from your generosity.  

Thank You!

Wednesday, November 19, 2014

Oilfield Joke: The Oilman's Widow...

An elderly widow of an Oilman did her shopping 
and, upon returning to her car, found four males in the act of leaving with her vehicle.

She dropped her shopping bags and drew her handgun, proceeding to scream with her feeble voice at the top of her lungs, 

"I have a gun, and I know how to use it! Get out of the car!"

The four men didn't wait for a second threat. 

They got out and ran like mad. 

The lady, somewhat shaken, then proceeded to load her shopping bags into the back of the car and got into the driver's seat.

She was so shaken that she could not get her key into the ignition.

She tried and tried, and then she realized why.

 It was for the same reason she had wondered why there was a football, a Frisbee, and two 12-packs of beer in the front seat.

 A few minutes later, she found her own car parked four or five spaces farther down.

 She loaded her bags into the car and drove to the police station to report her mistake.

 The sergeant to whom she told the story couldn't stop laughing.

 He pointed to the other end of the counter, where four pale men were reporting a car jacking by a mad, elderly woman described as white, less than five feet tall, glasses, curly white hair, and carrying a large handgun.

 No charges were filed.

 Moral of the story? If you're going to have a senior moment...make it memorable.

  • December 5, 2014 - "Last Blast 2014" Sporting Clay Classic at Rio Brazos Shooting Preserve in Simonton, Texas. 

Food Sponsor

      For more information about Oilfield Appreciation Event Sponsorship and Registrations. or by phone at 800-277-1647

      Tuesday, November 11, 2014

      Oilfield Joke: Two Roughneck's apply for a job....

      Two roughnecks were applying for the position of Toolpusher. 

      If they failed, they would be let go. 

      The application was fill-in-the-blank. 

      The last question read, "Old MacDonald had a _________." Bubba was stumped. 

      He had no idea what to answer. But he knew he needed to get this one right to be sure he would be considered for the job. 

      Making sure the HR person wasn't watching, he tapped Tiny on the shoulder.

       "Pssst. Tiny. What's the answer to the last question?" 

      Tiny laughed. 

      He looked around to make sure no one was watching, then he turned to Bubba. 

      "Bubba, you're so stupid. Everyone knows Old MacDonald had a FARM." 

      "Oh yeah," said Bubba. "I remember now." He picked up his No. 2 pencil and started to write the answer in the blank.

       He stopped. Tapping Tiny's shoulder again, he whispered, "Tiny, how do you spell farm?" 

      "You are really dumb, Bubba. That's so easy. 

      Farm is spelled E-I-E-I-O." 
      We have had a great year so far. This is the last of 6 events for the year! Get Signed up Today, as we are already filling up! 

      • December 5, 2014 - "Last Blast 2014" Sporting Clay Classic at Rio Brazos Shooting Preserve in Simonton, Texas. 
      Gusher Level Sponsors
      Food Sponsor

        For more information about Oilfield Appreciation Event Sponsorship and Registrations. 
 or by phone at 800-277-1647

        Tuesday, November 4, 2014

        Oilfield Joke: A Roughneck's Letter from Home...

        Dear son, 

        Im writing this slow cause i know you cant read fast.

        Your pop read that all accidents happen within 20 miles of home so we moved.

        Can't send you the address as the last arkansas family that lived here took the numbers with them so they wouldnt have to change their address. 

        That coat you wanted, aunt billy-mae said it was too heavy with them buttons, so we took them off and put them in the pockets. 

        Your sister had a baby yester morn. Don't know if its a boy or girl so dont know if youre an aunt or uncle. 

        Three of your friends went off the bridge last week. One was drivig the other two were in the back. The driver lived, he rolled down the window and swam to safety. The other two drowned, they coulnt get the talegate down. 

        Please write back. It you dont get this letter, let me know and i will send another one. 

        Love, ma


        Registration is OPEN for the last Oilfield Appreciation Event of the year! This will be the big one as it is the last sporting clay event to be held at Rio Brazos. 
        Do not miss these opportunities to bring your customers have some Sporting Clay Fun and win some great door prizes! While supporting Oilfield Workers Health, Education and Welfare efforts.