Wednesday, June 22, 2016

Oilfield Joke: A Tourist Walks into a Pet Store....

A tourist walked into a pet store and was looking at the animals on display. While he was there, a petroleum engineer from a nearby office walked in and said to the storekeeper, "I'll take a rig hand monkey please." 

The storekeeper nodded, went to the side of the store, and took out a monkey. He put a collar and leash on the animal and handed it to the engineer, saying, "That'll be $2000." The man paid and left with the monkey." 

The surprised tourist went to the storekeeper and said, "That was a very expensive monkey. Most monkeys are only a few hundred dollars. Why did that one cost so much?" The storekeeper answered, "Ah, that's a rig monkey. He can rig up, plan rig moves, rewind motors, tail pipe, paint, pull maintenance, all with no back talk or complaints. It's well worth the money." 

The tourist then spotted a monkey in another cage. "That one's even more expensive!! $10,000 !! What does it do??" he asked. "Oh, that one" replied the storekeeper. " That's a Rig Manager monkey. It can instruct at levels of maintenance, run the safety program, deal with clients, and even do some paper work. A very useful monkey indeed." 

The tourist looked around a little longer and found a third monkey in a cage. The price tag was $50,000. The shocked tourist exclaimed, "This one costs more than all the others put together !!. What in the world can it do??". "Actually," said the shopkeeper, "I've never really seen him do anything but drink beer and whiskey and make a lot of noise, but his papers say he's a Company Man."

Oilfield Appreciation Sporting Clay Shooters, Sponsors and Volunteers, the next event is at Dallas Gun Club on Friday July 29th,  

sponsored by
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  • July 29th, 2016 – 5th Annual NORTH TEXAS SPORTING CLAY CLASSIC at the Dallas Gun Club in Lewisville, Texas.
___________________________________________________
  • September 9th, 2016 – 5th Annual PERMIAN BASIN SPORTING CLAY CLASSIC at Jake’s Clays in Midland, Texas.
___________________________________________________
  • December  9th, 2016 – 4th Annual LAST BLAST SPORTING CLAY CLASSIC at Westside Sporting Grounds in Katy, Texas.
___________________________________________________
For more information about Oilfield Appreciation Event Sponsorship and Registrations. Please Contact the Event Coordinator at
Info@OilfieldAppreciation.com or by phone at 800-277-1647
We appreciate our past sponsors

Wednesday, June 15, 2016

Oilfield Joke: Retired Drillers like to gamble....



John Sam and Abe, 3 retired Drillers, would get together every night, rain or shine, to play poker. 

It was a nice way to pass the time and the men enjoyed it immensely. 

John’s wife wasn’t so fond of her husband’s poker playing.

She thought it was a dirty and low way to fill his time, but she had long ago resigned herself to her sorry fate,

although inside of her, there was  always a low flame on the back burner waiting to erupt.

One Wednesday night, after a few nights of boring games, something exciting happened.
 
Sam watched in amusement as John and Abe, each convinced that they had the better hand, 
 
slowly put their life savings into the pot. 

Things started to get really intense when John, running out of available cash, added  his car and house into the pot. 

When there was no money left to bet on they each showed their cards. 

As soon as John saw Abe’s cards and realized he had lost, he had a heart attack and died. 

“Sam,” asked Abe “how are we going to tell his wife?” 

“Don’t worry I’ll take care of it” Abe replied. Abe knocked on John’s door. 

“John just lost all of your life savings in a poker game,” said Sam when the door was opened.
 
“He’s afraid to come home.” John’s wife was fuming “HE DID WHAT?!” She screamed.
 
“TELL HIM I DON’T WANT TO EVER SEE HIS FACE AGAIN! TELL HIM TO JUST DROP DEAD!”

“Ok,” said Sam nodding his head, “I’ll tell him just that!”

We Want You! 

The Oilfield Appreciation North Texas Sporting Clay Classic will be here before you know it!

Do Not Let this Opportunity Slip Away!


  • July 29th, 2016 – 5th Annual NORTH TEXAS SPORTING CLAY CLASSIC at the Dallas Gun Club in Lewisville, Texas.
___________________________________________________
  • September 9th, 2016 – 5th Annual PERMIAN BASIN SPORTING CLAY CLASSIC at Jake’s Clays in Midland, Texas.
___________________________________________________
  • December  9th, 2016 – 4th Annual LAST BLAST SPORTING CLAY CLASSIC at Westside Sporting Grounds in Katy, Texas.
___________________________________________________
For more information about Oilfield Appreciation Event Sponsorship and Registrations. Please Contact the Event Coordinator at
Info@OilfieldAppreciation.com or by phone at 800-277-1647
We appreciate our past sponsors

Thursday, June 9, 2016

Oilfield Joke: Why does work have to be that way?....

The busy and over stressed CEO of a large Oil and Gas company was walking from the parking area of a new drilling location along with two of his engineers.

While walking along the gravel road they discovered and odd shaped bottle in the grass near by,

When they opened the cork top, a genie appeared and asked them if they would like to each make a wish.

The first engineer said, “Heck yeah, I wish I was on a beach on a tropical island!” Immediately his wish was granted.

The next engineer proclaimed, “Awesome, I wish I was on my hunting lease in South Texas!” and boom....Immediately his wish too, was granted.

Being that it was now his turn to make a wish the CEO exclaimed “I want the two of them back in their offices right after lunch!”

That is the way it goes in the Oil Patch.


We Want You! 

The Oilfield Appreciation North Texas Sporting Clay Classic will be here before you know it!

Do Not Let this Opportunity Slip Away!


  • July 29th, 2016 – 5th Annual NORTH TEXAS SPORTING CLAY CLASSIC at the Dallas Gun Club in Lewisville, Texas.
___________________________________________________
  • September 9th, 2016 – 5th Annual PERMIAN BASIN SPORTING CLAY CLASSIC at Jake’s Clays in Midland, Texas.
___________________________________________________
  • December  9th, 2016 – 4th Annual LAST BLAST SPORTING CLAY CLASSIC at Westside Sporting Grounds in Katy, Texas.
___________________________________________________
For more information about Oilfield Appreciation Event Sponsorship and Registrations. Please Contact the Event Coordinator at
Info@OilfieldAppreciation.com or by phone at 800-277-1647
We appreciate our past sponsors

Tuesday, May 31, 2016

Oilfield Joke: Salesman's stop goes South....

I was coming back from making sales calls in South Texas, it was a long drive home and it was pretty far between towns. 

I stopped at a drilling location to use the bathroom.

Thankfully, they had just delivered a fresh set of porta-johns. 

I just sat down on the toilet when I heard a voice coming from the porta-john next to mine, 

“Hey! How’s it going?” 

Although I was quite surprised, and I wasn’t in the habit of conversing to the people next to me in the john, 

I was in Texas however and the people seemed to be friendly everywhere I went. 

So, I answered him, 

“I’m fine” I said “thanks for asking.”

“What are you doing?” Asked the same voice

To be honest I was a bit taken aback by the brazenness of this fellow, 

but I would never ignore anyone so I calmly answered, 

“I’m releaving myself.”

Then I heard the same voice again, 

“Honey, I’m going to have to call you back, some smart-aleck in the next john is answering all of my questions.”


We Want You! 

The Oilfield Appreciation North Texas Sporting Clay Classic will be here before you know it!

Do Not Let this Opportunity Slip Away!


  • July 29th, 2016 – 5th Annual NORTH TEXAS SPORTING CLAY CLASSIC at the Dallas Gun Club in Lewisville, Texas.
___________________________________________________
  • September 9th, 2016 – 5th Annual PERMIAN BASIN SPORTING CLAY CLASSIC at Jake’s Clays in Midland, Texas.
___________________________________________________
  • December  9th, 2016 – 4th Annual LAST BLAST SPORTING CLAY CLASSIC at Westside Sporting Grounds in Katy, Texas.
___________________________________________________
For more information about Oilfield Appreciation Event Sponsorship and Registrations. Please Contact the Event Coordinator at
Info@OilfieldAppreciation.com or by phone at 800-277-1647
We appreciate our past sponsors

Several  sponsorships are still available that offer great exposure by way of positive company participation to our audience of Oil & Gas industry decision makers consisting of Exploration and Production companies, Drilling Contractors, Well Servicing Contractors, Landmen, Geologists and Engineers and more. (If you sell products or services to the oilfield, this is a great way to see and be seen) Please review the sponsor links which shows our most recent updates to our corporate sponsorship levels that start as low as $250. 

We hope to raise and give away over $100,000 before the years end, please consider supporting these very worthwhile Oilfield Appreciation Events, that help oilfield families in financial crisis, continuing education for laid off workers and scholarships for men and women wishing to contribute to our industry. 
The Oil and Gas Exploration and Production Industry has historically been a very cyclical industry that fatigues even the best of equipment and personnel. If we as an industry do not invest in health, education and welfare programs, 

we will lose our most valuable assets...... our hard working people.
Oilfield Appreciation Days support Oilfield Worker Health, Education and Welfare efforts, locally and abroad..
Our Mission:
Oilfield Appreciation Days are held through-out the year in areas with high concentrations of oilfield families. These events will serve as fundraisers that will in turn be used to benefit a variety of health, education and welfare programs and charities that stay in direct contact with oilfield workers and their families 
 The HandShake

Call Scott Huggins - Oilfield Appreciation Days Event Coordinator 

at 940-393-6200 or email scott@OilfieldAppreciation.com for details. 
  

PS. 
Please help us get the word out to the people on your lists by forwarding this email to the people in your organization that would support this effort.