Thursday, July 21, 2016

Oilfield Joke: Need to hire a Drilling Engineer......

A big oilfield company was needing to hire a Drilling Engineer but had a problem as they had way too many candidates for the one position that was available. 


So to narrow down the group, the human resource director with a PHd in Philosophy gave a one question application after interviewing each of them on a broad array of topics.

The prospective Drilling Engineers were all gathered into a meeting room when the HR Director picked up his chair, plopped it on his desk and wrote on the board: “Using everything we have learned from your interviews, give me your best argument to prove that this chair does not exist.”

Fingers flew, erasers erased, notebooks were filled in furious fashion.

Some applicants wrote over 30 pages in one hour attempting to refute the existence of the chair. 

However,one member of the class, a former roughneck, was up and finished in less than a minute.

Weeks later when the position was filled by the former roughneck, the rest of the applicants wondered how he could have gotten the job when he had barely written anything at all.

His answer consisted of two words:

“What chair?”

Oilfield Appreciation Sporting Clay Shooters, Sponsors and Volunteers, the next event is at Dallas Gun Club on Friday July 29th,  

sponsored by
__________________________________________________
  • July 29th, 2016 – 5th Annual NORTH TEXAS SPORTING CLAY CLASSIC at the Dallas Gun Club in Lewisville, Texas.
___________________________________________________
  • September 9th, 2016 – 5th Annual PERMIAN BASIN SPORTING CLAY CLASSIC at Jake’s Clays in Midland, Texas.
___________________________________________________
  • December  9th, 2016 – 4th Annual LAST BLAST SPORTING CLAY CLASSIC at Westside Sporting Grounds in Katy, Texas.
___________________________________________________
For more information about Oilfield Appreciation Event Sponsorship and Registrations. Please Contact the Event Coordinator at
Info@OilfieldAppreciation.com or by phone at 800-277-1647
We appreciate our past sponsors

Wednesday, July 13, 2016

Oilfield Joke: First Job in the Oilfield...

Joe recently graduated with a degree in Petroleum Engineering and finally landed an interview with a large Oil and Gas Company. 

Reaching the end of a job interview, the human resources person asked the excited young petroleum engineer, "And just what kind of starting salary were you looking for?"

The young engineer said, "In the neighborhood of $125,000 a year, depending on the benefits package."

The interviewer said, "Well, what would you say to a five-week vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, company matching your retirement fund to 50% of your salary, and a company car leased every two years, say, a red Corvette?"

The young engineer sat up straight and said, "Wow! That is Awesome, Are you kidding?"

The interviewer replied, "Yes, but you started it."

Oilfield Appreciation Sporting Clay Shooters, Sponsors and Volunteers, the next event is at Dallas Gun Club on Friday July 29th,  

sponsored by
__________________________________________________
  • July 29th, 2016 – 5th Annual NORTH TEXAS SPORTING CLAY CLASSIC at the Dallas Gun Club in Lewisville, Texas.
___________________________________________________
  • September 9th, 2016 – 5th Annual PERMIAN BASIN SPORTING CLAY CLASSIC at Jake’s Clays in Midland, Texas.
___________________________________________________
  • December  9th, 2016 – 4th Annual LAST BLAST SPORTING CLAY CLASSIC at Westside Sporting Grounds in Katy, Texas.
___________________________________________________
For more information about Oilfield Appreciation Event Sponsorship and Registrations. Please Contact the Event Coordinator at
Info@OilfieldAppreciation.com or by phone at 800-277-1647
We appreciate our past sponsors

Wednesday, July 6, 2016

Oilfield Joke: I'm Going to be an Oilman, like my Daddy...

The dean of admissions at a prestigious university's School of Petroleum was interviewing a prospective student... 


"What do you plan to do with a degee in Oil and Gas economics and finance?" the dean asked. 

"I dream of making millions of dollars exploring and developing oil and gas plays, like my father," the student replied. 

The dean was obviously impressed... "Your father made millions of dollars in the oil business?" 

"No," replied the applicant... "But he always dreamed of it...."

Oilfield Appreciation Sporting Clay Shooters, Sponsors and Volunteers, the next event is at Dallas Gun Club on Friday July 29th,  

sponsored by
__________________________________________________
  • July 29th, 2016 – 5th Annual NORTH TEXAS SPORTING CLAY CLASSIC at the Dallas Gun Club in Lewisville, Texas.
___________________________________________________
  • September 9th, 2016 – 5th Annual PERMIAN BASIN SPORTING CLAY CLASSIC at Jake’s Clays in Midland, Texas.
___________________________________________________
  • December  9th, 2016 – 4th Annual LAST BLAST SPORTING CLAY CLASSIC at Westside Sporting Grounds in Katy, Texas.
___________________________________________________
For more information about Oilfield Appreciation Event Sponsorship and Registrations. Please Contact the Event Coordinator at
Info@OilfieldAppreciation.com or by phone at 800-277-1647
We appreciate our past sponsors

Wednesday, June 22, 2016

Oilfield Joke: A Tourist Walks into a Pet Store....

A tourist walked into a pet store and was looking at the animals on display. While he was there, a petroleum engineer from a nearby office walked in and said to the storekeeper, "I'll take a rig hand monkey please." 

The storekeeper nodded, went to the side of the store, and took out a monkey. He put a collar and leash on the animal and handed it to the engineer, saying, "That'll be $2000." The man paid and left with the monkey." 

The surprised tourist went to the storekeeper and said, "That was a very expensive monkey. Most monkeys are only a few hundred dollars. Why did that one cost so much?" The storekeeper answered, "Ah, that's a rig monkey. He can rig up, plan rig moves, rewind motors, tail pipe, paint, pull maintenance, all with no back talk or complaints. It's well worth the money." 

The tourist then spotted a monkey in another cage. "That one's even more expensive!! $10,000 !! What does it do??" he asked. "Oh, that one" replied the storekeeper. " That's a Rig Manager monkey. It can instruct at levels of maintenance, run the safety program, deal with clients, and even do some paper work. A very useful monkey indeed." 

The tourist looked around a little longer and found a third monkey in a cage. The price tag was $50,000. The shocked tourist exclaimed, "This one costs more than all the others put together !!. What in the world can it do??". "Actually," said the shopkeeper, "I've never really seen him do anything but drink beer and whiskey and make a lot of noise, but his papers say he's a Company Man."

Oilfield Appreciation Sporting Clay Shooters, Sponsors and Volunteers, the next event is at Dallas Gun Club on Friday July 29th,  

sponsored by
__________________________________________________
  • July 29th, 2016 – 5th Annual NORTH TEXAS SPORTING CLAY CLASSIC at the Dallas Gun Club in Lewisville, Texas.
___________________________________________________
  • September 9th, 2016 – 5th Annual PERMIAN BASIN SPORTING CLAY CLASSIC at Jake’s Clays in Midland, Texas.
___________________________________________________
  • December  9th, 2016 – 4th Annual LAST BLAST SPORTING CLAY CLASSIC at Westside Sporting Grounds in Katy, Texas.
___________________________________________________
For more information about Oilfield Appreciation Event Sponsorship and Registrations. Please Contact the Event Coordinator at
Info@OilfieldAppreciation.com or by phone at 800-277-1647
We appreciate our past sponsors

Wednesday, June 15, 2016

Oilfield Joke: Retired Drillers like to gamble....



John Sam and Abe, 3 retired Drillers, would get together every night, rain or shine, to play poker. 

It was a nice way to pass the time and the men enjoyed it immensely. 

John’s wife wasn’t so fond of her husband’s poker playing.

She thought it was a dirty and low way to fill his time, but she had long ago resigned herself to her sorry fate,

although inside of her, there was  always a low flame on the back burner waiting to erupt.

One Wednesday night, after a few nights of boring games, something exciting happened.
 
Sam watched in amusement as John and Abe, each convinced that they had the better hand, 
 
slowly put their life savings into the pot. 

Things started to get really intense when John, running out of available cash, added  his car and house into the pot. 

When there was no money left to bet on they each showed their cards. 

As soon as John saw Abe’s cards and realized he had lost, he had a heart attack and died. 

“Sam,” asked Abe “how are we going to tell his wife?” 

“Don’t worry I’ll take care of it” Abe replied. Abe knocked on John’s door. 

“John just lost all of your life savings in a poker game,” said Sam when the door was opened.
 
“He’s afraid to come home.” John’s wife was fuming “HE DID WHAT?!” She screamed.
 
“TELL HIM I DON’T WANT TO EVER SEE HIS FACE AGAIN! TELL HIM TO JUST DROP DEAD!”

“Ok,” said Sam nodding his head, “I’ll tell him just that!”

We Want You! 

The Oilfield Appreciation North Texas Sporting Clay Classic will be here before you know it!

Do Not Let this Opportunity Slip Away!


  • July 29th, 2016 – 5th Annual NORTH TEXAS SPORTING CLAY CLASSIC at the Dallas Gun Club in Lewisville, Texas.
___________________________________________________
  • September 9th, 2016 – 5th Annual PERMIAN BASIN SPORTING CLAY CLASSIC at Jake’s Clays in Midland, Texas.
___________________________________________________
  • December  9th, 2016 – 4th Annual LAST BLAST SPORTING CLAY CLASSIC at Westside Sporting Grounds in Katy, Texas.
___________________________________________________
For more information about Oilfield Appreciation Event Sponsorship and Registrations. Please Contact the Event Coordinator at
Info@OilfieldAppreciation.com or by phone at 800-277-1647
We appreciate our past sponsors