Wednesday, August 24, 2016

Oilfield Joke: Young Salesman goes Golfing...

A young Oilfield Salesman who was also an avid golfer found himself with a few hours to spare one afternoon. He figured if he hurried and played very fast, he could get in 9 holes before he had to head home.


Just as he was about to tee off an old gentleman shuffled onto the
tee and asked if he could accompany the young man as he was
golfing alone.

Not being able to say no, he allowed the old gent to join him.

To his surprise the old man played fairly quickly. He didn't hit the
ball far but plodded along consistently and didn't waste much time.

They reached the ninth fairway, and the young salesman found himself with a tough shot. There was a large pine tree right in front of his ball, directly between his ball and the green.

After several minutes of debating how to hit the shot the old man
finally said, "You know, when I was your age I'd hit the ball right
over that tree."

With that challenge placed before him, the youngster swung hard and hit the ball right smack into the top of the tree trunk, where it thudded back on the ground not a foot from where it had originally been.

The old man offered one more comment, "Of course, when I was your age that pine tree was only 3 feet tall."

Oilfield Appreciation Sporting Clay Shooters, Sponsors and Volunteers, the next event is at Jakes Clays in Midland on Friday September 9th

sponsored by

  • September 9th, 2016 – 5th Annual PERMIAN BASIN SPORTING CLAY CLASSIC at Jake’s Clays in Midland, Texas.
___________________________________________________
  • December  9th, 2016 – 4th Annual LAST BLAST SPORTING CLAY CLASSIC at Westside Sporting Grounds in Katy, Texas.
___________________________________________________
For more information about Oilfield Appreciation Event Sponsorship and Registrations. Please Contact the Event Coordinator at
Info@OilfieldAppreciation.com or by phone at 800-277-1647
We appreciate our past sponsors

Thursday, August 11, 2016

Oilfield Joke: Dirt Contractor gets One Wish...

A Dirt Contractor was clearing for a location when he found a bottle that had been buried in the dirt. He looked around but didn't see anyone so he opened it.

A genie appeared and thanked the man for letting him out. 

The genie said, "I am so grateful to get out of that bottle that I will grant you any wish, but I can only grant one." 

The man thought for a while and finally said, "I have always wanted to go to Hawaii and fish along the beautiful beaches of Hawaii. I've never been able to go because I do not like fly. Airplanes are much too frightening for me. On a boat, I see all that water and I become very claustrophobic. So I wish for a road to be built from here to Hawaii."

The genie thought for a few minutes and finally said, "No, I don't think I can do that. 

Just think of all the work involved. Consider all the piling needed to hold up a highway and how deep they would have to go to reach the bottom of the ocean. 

Imagine all the pavement needed. No, that really is just too much to ask."

The man thought for a few minutes and then told the genie, "There is one other thing I have always wanted. 

I would like to be able to understand women. What makes them laugh and cry, why are they temperamental, why are they so difficult to get along with, when they want attention, when they don't. Basically, what makes women tick."

The genie thought for a while and said, "Okay, back to your first wish, do you want two lanes or four?"

Oilfield Appreciation Sporting Clay Shooters, Sponsors and Volunteers, the next event is at Dallas Gun Club on Friday July 29th,  

sponsored by
  • September 9th, 2016 – 5th Annual PERMIAN BASIN SPORTING CLAY CLASSIC at Jake’s Clays in Midland, Texas.
___________________________________________________
  • December  9th, 2016 – 4th Annual LAST BLAST SPORTING CLAY CLASSIC at Westside Sporting Grounds in Katy, Texas.
___________________________________________________
For more information about Oilfield Appreciation Event Sponsorship and Registrations. Please Contact the Event Coordinator at
Info@OilfieldAppreciation.com or by phone at 800-277-1647
We appreciate our past sponsors

Thursday, July 21, 2016

Oilfield Joke: Need to hire a Drilling Engineer......

A big oilfield company was needing to hire a Drilling Engineer but had a problem as they had way too many candidates for the one position that was available. 


So to narrow down the group, the human resource director with a PHd in Philosophy gave a one question application after interviewing each of them on a broad array of topics.

The prospective Drilling Engineers were all gathered into a meeting room when the HR Director picked up his chair, plopped it on his desk and wrote on the board: “Using everything we have learned from your interviews, give me your best argument to prove that this chair does not exist.”

Fingers flew, erasers erased, notebooks were filled in furious fashion.

Some applicants wrote over 30 pages in one hour attempting to refute the existence of the chair. 

However,one member of the class, a former roughneck, was up and finished in less than a minute.

Weeks later when the position was filled by the former roughneck, the rest of the applicants wondered how he could have gotten the job when he had barely written anything at all.

His answer consisted of two words:

“What chair?”

Oilfield Appreciation Sporting Clay Shooters, Sponsors and Volunteers, the next event is at Dallas Gun Club on Friday July 29th,  

sponsored by
__________________________________________________
  • July 29th, 2016 – 5th Annual NORTH TEXAS SPORTING CLAY CLASSIC at the Dallas Gun Club in Lewisville, Texas.
___________________________________________________
  • September 9th, 2016 – 5th Annual PERMIAN BASIN SPORTING CLAY CLASSIC at Jake’s Clays in Midland, Texas.
___________________________________________________
  • December  9th, 2016 – 4th Annual LAST BLAST SPORTING CLAY CLASSIC at Westside Sporting Grounds in Katy, Texas.
___________________________________________________
For more information about Oilfield Appreciation Event Sponsorship and Registrations. Please Contact the Event Coordinator at
Info@OilfieldAppreciation.com or by phone at 800-277-1647
We appreciate our past sponsors

Wednesday, July 13, 2016

Oilfield Joke: First Job in the Oilfield...

Joe recently graduated with a degree in Petroleum Engineering and finally landed an interview with a large Oil and Gas Company. 

Reaching the end of a job interview, the human resources person asked the excited young petroleum engineer, "And just what kind of starting salary were you looking for?"

The young engineer said, "In the neighborhood of $125,000 a year, depending on the benefits package."

The interviewer said, "Well, what would you say to a five-week vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, company matching your retirement fund to 50% of your salary, and a company car leased every two years, say, a red Corvette?"

The young engineer sat up straight and said, "Wow! That is Awesome, Are you kidding?"

The interviewer replied, "Yes, but you started it."

Oilfield Appreciation Sporting Clay Shooters, Sponsors and Volunteers, the next event is at Dallas Gun Club on Friday July 29th,  

sponsored by
__________________________________________________
  • July 29th, 2016 – 5th Annual NORTH TEXAS SPORTING CLAY CLASSIC at the Dallas Gun Club in Lewisville, Texas.
___________________________________________________
  • September 9th, 2016 – 5th Annual PERMIAN BASIN SPORTING CLAY CLASSIC at Jake’s Clays in Midland, Texas.
___________________________________________________
  • December  9th, 2016 – 4th Annual LAST BLAST SPORTING CLAY CLASSIC at Westside Sporting Grounds in Katy, Texas.
___________________________________________________
For more information about Oilfield Appreciation Event Sponsorship and Registrations. Please Contact the Event Coordinator at
Info@OilfieldAppreciation.com or by phone at 800-277-1647
We appreciate our past sponsors

Wednesday, July 6, 2016

Oilfield Joke: I'm Going to be an Oilman, like my Daddy...

The dean of admissions at a prestigious university's School of Petroleum was interviewing a prospective student... 


"What do you plan to do with a degee in Oil and Gas economics and finance?" the dean asked. 

"I dream of making millions of dollars exploring and developing oil and gas plays, like my father," the student replied. 

The dean was obviously impressed... "Your father made millions of dollars in the oil business?" 

"No," replied the applicant... "But he always dreamed of it...."

Oilfield Appreciation Sporting Clay Shooters, Sponsors and Volunteers, the next event is at Dallas Gun Club on Friday July 29th,  

sponsored by
__________________________________________________
  • July 29th, 2016 – 5th Annual NORTH TEXAS SPORTING CLAY CLASSIC at the Dallas Gun Club in Lewisville, Texas.
___________________________________________________
  • September 9th, 2016 – 5th Annual PERMIAN BASIN SPORTING CLAY CLASSIC at Jake’s Clays in Midland, Texas.
___________________________________________________
  • December  9th, 2016 – 4th Annual LAST BLAST SPORTING CLAY CLASSIC at Westside Sporting Grounds in Katy, Texas.
___________________________________________________
For more information about Oilfield Appreciation Event Sponsorship and Registrations. Please Contact the Event Coordinator at
Info@OilfieldAppreciation.com or by phone at 800-277-1647
We appreciate our past sponsors