Tuesday, October 21, 2014

Oilfield Joke: Retired Drilling Secretary is tricky...

A retired Drilling Secretary gets pulled over for speeding... 

Retired Secretary: Is there a problem, Officer? 

Officer : Ma'am, you were speeding.  

Retired Secretary: Oh, I see.  

Officer : Can I see your license please?  

Retired Secretary: I'd give it to you but I don't have one.  

Officer : Don't have one?  

Retired Secretary: Lost it, 4 years ago for drunk driving.  

Officer : I see...Can I see your vehicle registration papers please.  

Retired Secretary: I can't do that.  

Officer : Why not?  

Retired Secretary: I stole this car.  

Officer : Stole it?  

Retired Secretary: Yes, and I killed the owner.  

Officer : You what?  

Retired Secretary: His body is in the trunk if you want to see.  

The Officer looks at the woman and slowly backs away to his car and calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.  

Officer 2: Ma'am, could you step out of your vehicle please! 

The woman steps out of her vehicle.  

Retired Secretary: Is there a problem sir?  

Officer2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner.  

Retired Secretary: Murdered the owner?  

Officer2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please.  The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.  

Officer2: Is this your car, ma'am?  

Retired Secretary: Yes, here are the registration papers. The officer is quite stunned.  

Officer2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving license.  The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the officer.  The officer examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.  

Officer2 : Thank you ma'am, one of my officers told me you didn't have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered the owner.  

Retired Secretary: Bet the liar told you I was speeding, too.

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SHOOTERS, SPONSORS AND VOLUNTEERS Wanted!

Registration is OPEN for the last Oilfield Appreciation Event of the year! This will be the big one as it is the last sporting clay event to be held at Rio Brazos. 

 

Do not miss these opportunities to bring your customers have some Sporting Clay Fun and win some great door prizes! While supporting Oilfield Workers Health, Education and Welfare efforts. 
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Tuesday, October 14, 2014

Oilfield Joke: Oilman seeks advice...

The oil and gas operator was in a big financial trouble...  He had bought and contracted several thousand acres of minerals thinking that the area was the next big play, and instead, it was a bust.  It was so bad he was even contemplating becoming a roughneck again.

  As a last resort, he went to see a priest and poured out his story of tears and woe.

When he finished, the priest said, "Here's what I want you to do... Put a beach chair and a Bible in your car and drive up in the mountains to the lake. Take the chair and the Bible to the water's edge, sit down in the chair, and put the Bible in your lap. Open the Bible... The wind will rifle the pages, but finally the open Bible will come to rest on a page. Look down at the page and read the first thing you see. That will be your answer... That will tell you what to do."

A year later the oil and gas operator was back to see the priest. The operator was driving a new Lincoln and wearing a pair of high-dollar boots and an expensive felt hat. The operator pulled an envelope stuffed with money out of his pocket and gave it to the priest as a donation in thanks for the advice.

The priest recognized the benefactor, and was curious. "You did as I suggested?" he asked.

"Absolutely," replied the oil and gas operator.

"You went to the lake?"

"Absolutely."


"You sat in a beach chair with the Bible on your lap?"

"Absolutely."

"You let the pages rifle until they stopped?"

"Absolutely."

"And what were the first words you saw?"

"Chapter 11."



SHOOTERS, SPONSORS AND VOLUNTEERS!

Registration is OPEN for the last Oilfield Appreciation Event of the year! This will be the big one as it is the last sporting clay event to be held at Rio Brazos. 


Do not miss these opportunities to bring your customers have some Sporting Clay Fun and win some great door prizes! While supporting Oilfield Workers Health, Education and Welfare efforts. 
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Tuesday, October 7, 2014

Oilfield Joke: I'm Going to be an Oilman, like my Daddy...

The dean of admissions at a prestigious university's School of Petroleum was interviewing a prospective student... 

"What do you plan to do with a degee in Oil and Gas economics and finance?" the dean asked. 

"I dream of making millions of dollars exploring and developing oil and gas plays, like my father," the student replied. 

The dean was obviously impressed... "Your father made millions of dollars in the oil business?" 

"No," replied the applicant... "But he always dreamed of it...."

SHOOTERS, SPONSORS AND VOLUNTEERS!

Registration is OPEN for the last Oilfield Appreciation Event of the year! This will be the big one as it is the last sporting clay event to be held at Rio Brazos. 

Do not miss these opportunities to bring your customers have some Sporting Clay Fun and win some great door prizes! While supporting Oilfield Workers Health, Education and Welfare efforts. 
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Monday, October 6, 2014

Mid-Continent Sporting Clay Classic was a Great Success!

Thank you to everyone that attended, sponsored and or volunteered to make our 2014 Mid Continent Sporting Clay Classic at Quail Ridge a success.

Over 230 shooters competed in nearly perfect 70 degree weather at the very nice Quail Ridge facility.


Tuesday, September 23, 2014

Oilfield Joke: Some things are better left alone..

“C’mon Ma you have got to try it” the petroleum engineer pleaded to his elderly Mother.

 He did not know how his Mother lasted this long without ever using the internet, but enough was enough!

“Ok” she said reluctantly settling down by the computer and slowly putting on her reading glasses.

 “what do I do now?”

 “Now I’m going to open the home page of Google”, he explained.

 “OK here it is! 

Now type in ANY question you want into the bar over here and you will find an answer to your question. He confidently assured her. 

His Mother looked at him warily, thought for a second, and slowly began to type,

"How is your wife doing this morning?"


Registration is OPEN for the last 2 Oilfield Appreciation Events!

Do not miss these opportunities to bring your customers have some Sporting Clay Fun and win some great door prizes! While supporting Oilfield Workers Health, Education and Welfare efforts. 
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Tuesday, September 9, 2014

Oilfield Appreciation Events are "Give Back" types of events that support Oilfield Worker Health, Education and Welfare programs and supporting charities. 

The funds or donations that are left over after the events are donated to local oilfield association chapters scholarship funds, Oilfield Health and Welfare Charities and the local Children's Homes. 

 None of this could be accomplished without the generous support from the caring individuals and companies listed below.

On behalf of the men, women and children that benefit from your generosity.  


Thank You!


Wednesday, September 3, 2014

Oilfield Joke: Life as a Safety Engineer...

A Seventy-two-year-old Safety Engineer recently picked a new primary care physician. After two visits and exhaustive lab tests, the doctor said he was doing "fairly well" for his age.

A little concerned about that comment, the Safety Engineer couldn't resist asking the doctor, "Do you think I'll live to be 80?"

The doctor asked, "Well, do you smoke or drink beer?"

"Oh no," He replied, "I've never done either."

Then the doctor asked, "Do you eat rib-eye steaks and bar-b-qued ribs?"

The HSE man said, "No, I've heard that all red meat is very unhealthful!"

"Do you spend a lot of time in the sun, like playing golf?" the doctor asked.

"No, I don't," he replied.

Then the doctor asked, "Do you gamble, drive fast cars, or run around with women?"

"No," he said, "I don't do any of those things."

The good doctor looked at the Engineer and said, "Then why the heck do you want to live to be 80?"

Registration is OPEN for the last 3 Oilfield Appreciation Events!

Do not miss these opportunities to bring your customers have some Sporting Clay Fun and win some great door prizes! While supporting Oilfield Workers Health, Education and Welfare efforts. 




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