Wednesday, December 10, 2014

Oilfield Joke: Praying for Leroy the Roughneck...

In a Louisiana church one Sunday morning, a preacher said, "Anyone with 'special needs' who wants to be prayed over, please come forward to the front by the altar." 

With that, a roughneck named Leroy got in line, and when it was his turn, the Preacher asked, "Leroy, what do you want me to pray about for you?" 

Leroy replied, "Preacher man, I need you to pray for help with my hearing." 

The preacher put one finger of one hand in Leroy's ear, placed his other hand on top of Leroy's head, and then prayed and prayed and prayed.

He prayed a "blue streak" for Leroy, and the whole congregation joined in with great enthusiasm.

After a few minutes, the preacher removed his hands, stood back and asked, "Leroy, how is your hearing now?"

Leroy answered, "I don't know. It ain't 'til Thursday."
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Thank you for an Awesome 2014! 

The 6 events this year raised over $240,000 for Oilfield Health, Education and Welfare efforts. 

Oilfield Appreciation finished the year with a Blast!!! 

The 2nd Annual Last Blast event held at Rio Brazos featured 545 shooters and was the official closing of the Rio Brazos facility. To see the scores, click here.  

A special Thank You to all of the sponsors, 2600 plus shooters and volunteers that made this year a great one. 

We are looking forward to a major announcement from a new underwriter for our 2015 Oilfield Appreciation Events including sporting clays, golf tournaments and much more... stay tuned! 

Oilfield Appreciation Events are "Give Back" types of events that support Oilfield Worker Health, Education and Welfare programs and supporting charities. 

The funds or donations that are left over after the events are donated to local oilfield association chapters scholarship funds, Oilfield Health and Welfare Charities and the local Children's Homes. 

 None of this could be accomplished without the generous support from the caring individuals and companies listed below.

On behalf of the men, women and children that benefit from your generosity.  


Thank You!

Wednesday, November 19, 2014

Oilfield Joke: The Oilman's Widow...

An elderly widow of an Oilman did her shopping 
and, upon returning to her car, found four males in the act of leaving with her vehicle.

She dropped her shopping bags and drew her handgun, proceeding to scream with her feeble voice at the top of her lungs, 

"I have a gun, and I know how to use it! Get out of the car!"

The four men didn't wait for a second threat. 

They got out and ran like mad. 

The lady, somewhat shaken, then proceeded to load her shopping bags into the back of the car and got into the driver's seat.

She was so shaken that she could not get her key into the ignition.

She tried and tried, and then she realized why.

 It was for the same reason she had wondered why there was a football, a Frisbee, and two 12-packs of beer in the front seat.

 A few minutes later, she found her own car parked four or five spaces farther down.

 She loaded her bags into the car and drove to the police station to report her mistake.

 The sergeant to whom she told the story couldn't stop laughing.

 He pointed to the other end of the counter, where four pale men were reporting a car jacking by a mad, elderly woman described as white, less than five feet tall, glasses, curly white hair, and carrying a large handgun.

 No charges were filed.

 Moral of the story? If you're going to have a senior moment...make it memorable.


  • December 5, 2014 - "Last Blast 2014" Sporting Clay Classic at Rio Brazos Shooting Preserve in Simonton, Texas. 
GUSHER LEVEL SPONSORS



Food Sponsor

http://www.tulsainspection.com/


      For more information about Oilfield Appreciation Event Sponsorship and Registrations. 


      Info@OilfieldAppreciation.com or by phone at 800-277-1647

      Tuesday, November 11, 2014

      Oilfield Joke: Two Roughneck's apply for a job....

      Two roughnecks were applying for the position of Toolpusher. 

      If they failed, they would be let go. 

      The application was fill-in-the-blank. 

      The last question read, "Old MacDonald had a _________." Bubba was stumped. 

      He had no idea what to answer. But he knew he needed to get this one right to be sure he would be considered for the job. 

      Making sure the HR person wasn't watching, he tapped Tiny on the shoulder.

       "Pssst. Tiny. What's the answer to the last question?" 

      Tiny laughed. 

      He looked around to make sure no one was watching, then he turned to Bubba. 

      "Bubba, you're so stupid. Everyone knows Old MacDonald had a FARM." 

      "Oh yeah," said Bubba. "I remember now." He picked up his No. 2 pencil and started to write the answer in the blank.

       He stopped. Tapping Tiny's shoulder again, he whispered, "Tiny, how do you spell farm?" 

      "You are really dumb, Bubba. That's so easy. 

      Farm is spelled E-I-E-I-O." 
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      We have had a great year so far. This is the last of 6 events for the year! Get Signed up Today, as we are already filling up! 


      • December 5, 2014 - "Last Blast 2014" Sporting Clay Classic at Rio Brazos Shooting Preserve in Simonton, Texas. 
      Gusher Level Sponsors



      http://www.tulsainspection.com/
      Food Sponsor

        For more information about Oilfield Appreciation Event Sponsorship and Registrations. 


        Info@OilfieldAppreciation.com or by phone at 800-277-1647

        Tuesday, November 4, 2014

        Oilfield Joke: A Roughneck's Letter from Home...

        Dear son, 

        Im writing this slow cause i know you cant read fast.

        Your pop read that all accidents happen within 20 miles of home so we moved.

        Can't send you the address as the last arkansas family that lived here took the numbers with them so they wouldnt have to change their address. 

        That coat you wanted, aunt billy-mae said it was too heavy with them buttons, so we took them off and put them in the pockets. 

        Your sister had a baby yester morn. Don't know if its a boy or girl so dont know if youre an aunt or uncle. 

        Three of your friends went off the bridge last week. One was drivig the other two were in the back. The driver lived, he rolled down the window and swam to safety. The other two drowned, they coulnt get the talegate down. 

        Please write back. It you dont get this letter, let me know and i will send another one. 

        Love, ma

        SHOOTERS, SPONSORS AND VOLUNTEERS Wanted!

        Registration is OPEN for the last Oilfield Appreciation Event of the year! This will be the big one as it is the last sporting clay event to be held at Rio Brazos. 
         
        Do not miss these opportunities to bring your customers have some Sporting Clay Fun and win some great door prizes! While supporting Oilfield Workers Health, Education and Welfare efforts. 
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        Tuesday, October 21, 2014

        Oilfield Joke: Retired Drilling Secretary is tricky...

        A retired Drilling Secretary gets pulled over for speeding... 

        Retired Secretary: Is there a problem, Officer? 

        Officer : Ma'am, you were speeding.  

        Retired Secretary: Oh, I see.  

        Officer : Can I see your license please?  

        Retired Secretary: I'd give it to you but I don't have one.  

        Officer : Don't have one?  

        Retired Secretary: Lost it, 4 years ago for drunk driving.  

        Officer : I see...Can I see your vehicle registration papers please.  

        Retired Secretary: I can't do that.  

        Officer : Why not?  

        Retired Secretary: I stole this car.  

        Officer : Stole it?  

        Retired Secretary: Yes, and I killed the owner.  

        Officer : You what?  

        Retired Secretary: His body is in the trunk if you want to see.  

        The Officer looks at the woman and slowly backs away to his car and calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.  

        Officer 2: Ma'am, could you step out of your vehicle please! 

        The woman steps out of her vehicle.  

        Retired Secretary: Is there a problem sir?  

        Officer2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner.  

        Retired Secretary: Murdered the owner?  

        Officer2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please.  The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.  

        Officer2: Is this your car, ma'am?  

        Retired Secretary: Yes, here are the registration papers. The officer is quite stunned.  

        Officer2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving license.  The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the officer.  The officer examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.  

        Officer2 : Thank you ma'am, one of my officers told me you didn't have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered the owner.  

        Retired Secretary: Bet the liar told you I was speeding, too.

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        SHOOTERS, SPONSORS AND VOLUNTEERS Wanted!

        Registration is OPEN for the last Oilfield Appreciation Event of the year! This will be the big one as it is the last sporting clay event to be held at Rio Brazos. 

         

        Do not miss these opportunities to bring your customers have some Sporting Clay Fun and win some great door prizes! While supporting Oilfield Workers Health, Education and Welfare efforts. 
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        Tuesday, October 14, 2014

        Oilfield Joke: Oilman seeks advice...

        The oil and gas operator was in a big financial trouble...  He had bought and contracted several thousand acres of minerals thinking that the area was the next big play, and instead, it was a bust.  It was so bad he was even contemplating becoming a roughneck again.

          As a last resort, he went to see a priest and poured out his story of tears and woe.

        When he finished, the priest said, "Here's what I want you to do... Put a beach chair and a Bible in your car and drive up in the mountains to the lake. Take the chair and the Bible to the water's edge, sit down in the chair, and put the Bible in your lap. Open the Bible... The wind will rifle the pages, but finally the open Bible will come to rest on a page. Look down at the page and read the first thing you see. That will be your answer... That will tell you what to do."

        A year later the oil and gas operator was back to see the priest. The operator was driving a new Lincoln and wearing a pair of high-dollar boots and an expensive felt hat. The operator pulled an envelope stuffed with money out of his pocket and gave it to the priest as a donation in thanks for the advice.

        The priest recognized the benefactor, and was curious. "You did as I suggested?" he asked.

        "Absolutely," replied the oil and gas operator.

        "You went to the lake?"

        "Absolutely."


        "You sat in a beach chair with the Bible on your lap?"

        "Absolutely."

        "You let the pages rifle until they stopped?"

        "Absolutely."

        "And what were the first words you saw?"

        "Chapter 11."



        SHOOTERS, SPONSORS AND VOLUNTEERS!

        Registration is OPEN for the last Oilfield Appreciation Event of the year! This will be the big one as it is the last sporting clay event to be held at Rio Brazos. 


        Do not miss these opportunities to bring your customers have some Sporting Clay Fun and win some great door prizes! While supporting Oilfield Workers Health, Education and Welfare efforts. 
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        Tuesday, October 7, 2014

        Oilfield Joke: I'm Going to be an Oilman, like my Daddy...

        The dean of admissions at a prestigious university's School of Petroleum was interviewing a prospective student... 

        "What do you plan to do with a degee in Oil and Gas economics and finance?" the dean asked. 

        "I dream of making millions of dollars exploring and developing oil and gas plays, like my father," the student replied. 

        The dean was obviously impressed... "Your father made millions of dollars in the oil business?" 

        "No," replied the applicant... "But he always dreamed of it...."

        SHOOTERS, SPONSORS AND VOLUNTEERS!

        Registration is OPEN for the last Oilfield Appreciation Event of the year! This will be the big one as it is the last sporting clay event to be held at Rio Brazos. 

        Do not miss these opportunities to bring your customers have some Sporting Clay Fun and win some great door prizes! While supporting Oilfield Workers Health, Education and Welfare efforts. 
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