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Tuesday, October 21, 2014

Oilfield Joke: Retired Drilling Secretary is tricky...

A retired Drilling Secretary gets pulled over for speeding... 

Retired Secretary: Is there a problem, Officer? 

Officer : Ma'am, you were speeding.  

Retired Secretary: Oh, I see.  

Officer : Can I see your license please?  

Retired Secretary: I'd give it to you but I don't have one.  

Officer : Don't have one?  

Retired Secretary: Lost it, 4 years ago for drunk driving.  

Officer : I see...Can I see your vehicle registration papers please.  

Retired Secretary: I can't do that.  

Officer : Why not?  

Retired Secretary: I stole this car.  

Officer : Stole it?  

Retired Secretary: Yes, and I killed the owner.  

Officer : You what?  

Retired Secretary: His body is in the trunk if you want to see.  

The Officer looks at the woman and slowly backs away to his car and calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.  

Officer 2: Ma'am, could you step out of your vehicle please! 

The woman steps out of her vehicle.  

Retired Secretary: Is there a problem sir?  

Officer2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner.  

Retired Secretary: Murdered the owner?  

Officer2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please.  The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.  

Officer2: Is this your car, ma'am?  

Retired Secretary: Yes, here are the registration papers. The officer is quite stunned.  

Officer2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving license.  The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the officer.  The officer examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.  

Officer2 : Thank you ma'am, one of my officers told me you didn't have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered the owner.  

Retired Secretary: Bet the liar told you I was speeding, too.

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