Oilfield Joke: Top Ten Things I know about You...

1) You are reading this.

2) You are human.

3) You can’t say the letter ”P” without separating your lips.

4) You just attempted to do it.

6) You are laughing at yourself.

7) You have a smile on your face and you skipped No. 5.

8) You just checked to see if there is a No. 5.

9) You laugh at this because you are a fun loving person & everyone does it too.

10) You are probably going to send this to other people to see who else falls for it. …
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

We have added more stations and courses to both the AM and PM flights. So we have room for you. 

We also have Sponsorships available! Call Scott at 800-277-1647 for details....

"Last Blast 2013"

Friday December 6th

Oilfield Appreciation - Sporting Clay Classic

"Benefiting local Oilfield Worker Health, Education and Welfare Programs"

at the Rio Brazos Hunting Preserve located near Simonton,Texas

(directions)

For Online Registration Click Here

>> DOWNLOAD BROCHURE HERE<<

 If you like Adventure, you do not want to miss this event. Tens of Thousands of Dollars worth of Guns, Door Prizes and Auction Items featuring over 7 different Hunting, Fishing and Vacation Adventure Trips to Argentina and Costa Rica and more....

TOURNAMENT AGENDA

5 shooter team. 2 courses of 12 stations featuring true and report pairs. 

Friday 9:30 am and 1:00 pm flights.

FRIDAY, December 6th Tournament Registration Opens at 8 am

• 8 am Breakfast 

• 8 am Flush, Top Shot, Long bird & Wind Chime Games open 

• 9:30 am Morning Flight Shooters begin 100 Clay Tournament 

• 10 am -Noon Registration for PM shoot

• 11:30- 1:30 Lunch provided 

• 1:00 pm Afternoon Flight Shooters begin 100 Clay Tournament

• 4:30 pm Door Prizes & Awards    

Play Games and Win Guns!

  

TWO-MAN FLUSH - The Two-Man Flush is a game where you and your shooting partner shoot 30 targets in 60 seconds.   All participants are entered into Friday night's Grand Door Prize drawing.  

  

LONG BIRD- Clays at Long Distance with 2 shots at each. Hit the bird and get more chances at door prize tickets!

  

WIND CHIME-  The object is to hit the target and the wind chime.  Once you hit, your round is complete. Every time you hit, your name gets added to Friday's drawing and increases your chances to win the grand door prize. 

WIN A GUN -   Let's be honest... Winning a Gun is Fun and we will be giving away a lot of them. Bring a customer or a friend. Win extra tickets to improve your chances.

  

Compete in our special TOP SHOT COURSE -

Featuring, Paintball, Archery, 700 foot plus Air Cannon and more. Earn extra tickets for the door prizes while having a BLAST!

 This is a team event and classed by a Lewis Class Scoring System Trophies will be given to the HOA teams on each course and flight. To keep your position in the tournament, completed registration forms and entry fees must be in by the deadline. Those teams that fail to meet the deadline will be forfeited and the position will be available for those on our waiting list. Shooters will provide their own ammunition and eye and ear protection.  

LIVE AUCTION - Come prepared for the "LIVE AUCTION" where we will Give One and Auction One of the following Hunting and Fishing Trips: 

  

• 7 day All Inclusive Sports fishing Vacation for Two to Costa Rica  
• 4 Person 3 day Dove Hunt in Cordoba Argentina
• 2 Person Whitetail and Exotic Hunt in the Texas Hill Country
• 4 Person Rocky Mountain Fly Fishing Trip
• 3 Person Upland Game bird Hunt
• 2 Person Spring Turkey Hunt
• 2 Person Helicopter Hog and Predator Hunt

NOTE: Even if you or your company cannot attend these events, Please help support this effort by  calling 800-277-1647 for ways to help. Thank you in advance! 

The Oil and Gas Exploration and Production Industry has historically been a very cyclical industry that fatigues even the best of equipment and personnel. If we as an industry do not invest in health, education and welfare programs, 

we will lose our most valuable assets...... our hard working people.

Oilfield Appreciation Days support Oilfield Worker Health, Education and Welfare efforts, locally and abroad..

Our Mission:

Oilfield Appreciation Days are held through-out the year in areas with high concentrations of oilfield families. These events will serve as fundraisers that will in turn be used to benefit a variety of health, education and welfare programs and charities that stay in direct contact with oilfield workers and their families

Call Scott Huggins - Oilfield Appreciation Days Event Coordinator 

at 940-393-6200 or email 

scott@OilfieldAppreciation.com for details. 

  

Oilfield Joke: An Elephant Never Forgets..

I don't usually like these heartwarming stories, but this one is truly interesting...

In 1990, Mike Mbembe was working in the oilfields deep within the African Congo.

On his way to a remote location, he came across a young bull elephant standing with one leg raised in the air. The elephant seemed distressed, so Mbembe approached it very carefully.

He got down on one knee and inspected the elephant's foot and found a large piece of wood deeply embedded in it.

As carefully and as gently as he could, Mbembe worked the wood out with his pocket knife, after which the elephant gingerly put down its foot.

The elephant turned to face the man, and with a rather curious look on its face, stared at him for several tense moments.
Mbembe stood frozen, thinking of nothing else but being trampled. Eventually the elephant trumpeted loudly, turned, and walked away.

Mbembe never forgot that elephant or the events of that day.

Twenty years later, on a family vacation, Mbembe was walking through the Chicago Zoo with his teenaged son.

As they approached the elephant enclosure, one of the creatures turned and walked over to near where Mbembe and his son were standing.

The large bull elephant stared at Mbembe, lifted its front foot off the ground, then put it down. The elephant did that several times then trumpeted loudly, all the while staring at the man.

Remembering the encounter in 1990, Mbembe couldn't help wondering if this was the same elephant.

Mbembe summoned up his courage, climbed over the railing and made his way into the enclosure. He walked right up to the elephant and stared back in wonder. The elephant trumpeted again, wrapped its trunk around one of Mbembe's legs and slammed him against the iron railing, killing him instantly.

It Probably wasn't the same elephant....

Are you Signed up?

"Last Blast 2013"

Friday December 6th

Oilfield Appreciation - Sporting Clay Classic

"Benefiting local Oilfield Worker Health, Education and Welfare Programs"

at the Rio Brazos Hunting Preserve located near Simonton,Texas

(directions)

For Online Registration Click Here

>> DOWNLOAD BROCHURE HERE<<

 If you like Adventure, you do not want to miss this event. Tens of Thousands of Dollars worth of Guns, Door Prizes and Auction Items featuring over 7 different Hunting, Fishing and Vacation Adventure Trips to Argentina and Costa Rica and more....

TOURNAMENT AGENDA

5 shooter team. 2 courses of 12 stations featuring true and report pairs. 

Friday 9:30 am and 1:00 pm flights.

FRIDAY, December 6th Tournament Registration Opens at 8 am

• 8 am Breakfast 

• 8 am Flush, Top Shot, Long bird & Wind Chime Games open 

• 9:30 am Morning Flight Shooters begin 100 Clay Tournament 

• 10 am -Noon Registration for PM shoot

• 11:30- 1:30 Lunch provided 

• 1:00 pm Afternoon Flight Shooters begin 100 Clay Tournament

• 4:30 pm Door Prizes & Awards    

Play Games and Win Guns!

  

TWO-MAN FLUSH - The Two-Man Flush is a game where you and your shooting partner shoot 30 targets in 60 seconds.   All participants are entered into Friday night's Grand Door Prize drawing.  

  

LONG BIRD- Clays at Long Distance with 2 shots at each. Hit the bird and get more chances at door prize tickets!

  

WIND CHIME-  The object is to hit the target and the wind chime.  Once you hit, your round is complete. Every time you hit, your name gets added to Friday's drawing and increases your chances to win the grand door prize. 

WIN A GUN -   Let's be honest... Winning a Gun is Fun and we will be giving away a lot of them. Bring a customer or a friend. Win extra tickets to improve your chances.

  

Compete in our special TOP SHOT COURSE -

Featuring, Paintball, Archery, 700 foot plus Air Cannon and more. Earn extra tickets for the door prizes while having a BLAST!

 This is a team event and classed by a Lewis Class Scoring System Trophies will be given to the HOA teams on each course and flight. To keep your position in the tournament, completed registration forms and entry fees must be in by the deadline. Those teams that fail to meet the deadline will be forfeited and the position will be available for those on our waiting list. Shooters will provide their own ammunition and eye and ear protection.  

LIVE AUCTION - Come prepared for the "LIVE AUCTION" where we will Give One and Auction One of the following Hunting and Fishing Trips: 

  

• 7 day All Inclusive Sports fishing Vacation for Two to Costa Rica  
• 4 Person 3 day Dove Hunt in Cordoba Argentina
• 2 Person Whitetail and Exotic Hunt in the Texas Hill Country
• 4 Person Rocky Mountain Fly Fishing Trip
• 3 Person Upland Game bird Hunt
• 2 Person Spring Turkey Hunt
• 2 Person Helicopter Hog and Predator Hunt

NOTE: Even if you or your company cannot attend these events, Please help support this effort by  calling 800-277-1647 for ways to help. Thank you in advance! 

The Oil and Gas Exploration and Production Industry has historically been a very cyclical industry that fatigues even the best of equipment and personnel. If we as an industry do not invest in health, education and welfare programs, 

we will lose our most valuable assets...... our hard working people.

Oilfield Appreciation Days support Oilfield Worker Health, Education and Welfare efforts, locally and abroad..

Our Mission:

Oilfield Appreciation Days are held through-out the year in areas with high concentrations of oilfield families. These events will serve as fundraisers that will in turn be used to benefit a variety of health, education and welfare programs and charities that stay in direct contact with oilfield workers and their families

Call Scott Huggins - Oilfield Appreciation Days Event Coordinator 

at 940-393-6200 or email 

scott@OilfieldAppreciation.com for details. 

  

Oilfield Joke: Man Camp Blues..

Four roughnecks just moved to a new man camp. They had to bunk two to a room.

No one wanted to room with Steve because he snored so badly. They decided it wasn’t fair to make one of them stay with him the whole time, so they voted to take turns.

The first night, John slept in Steve’s room and came to breakfast the next morning with his hair a mess and his eyes all bloodshot.

The rest of the guys said, “Man, what happened to you?”

He said, “Steve snored so loudly, I could not sleep so I just sat up and watched him all night.”

The next night it was Garry’s turn. In the morning, same thing, hair all standing up, eyes all blood-shot.
Once again they asked, “Man, what happened to you? You look awful!”

He said, “Man, that Steve shakes the roof. I couldn’t sleep a wink. I just watched him all night.”

The third night was Herb’s turn. Herb was a big burly guy who loved to fish and hunt — a man’s man.

The next morning he came to breakfast bright eyed and bushy tailed. “Good morning,” he said.

The guys couldn’t believe it! They said, “Man, what happened?”

He said, “Well, we got ready for bed. I went and tucked Steve into bed and kissed him good night. It must have freaked him out so much,  that I guess He sat up and watched ME all night long.“

-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Are you Signed up?

"Last Blast 2013"

Friday December 6th

Oilfield Appreciation - Sporting Clay Classic

"Benefiting local Oilfield Worker Health, Education and Welfare Programs"

at the Rio Brazos Hunting Preserve located near Simonton,Texas

(directions)

For Online Registration Click Here

>> DOWNLOAD BROCHURE HERE<<

 If you like Adventure, you do not want to miss this event. Tens of Thousands of Dollars worth of Guns, Door Prizes and Auction Items featuring over 7 different Hunting, Fishing and Vacation Adventure Trips to Argentina and Costa Rica and more....

TOURNAMENT AGENDA

5 shooter team. 2 courses of 12 stations featuring true and report pairs. 

Friday 9:30 am and 1:00 pm flights.

FRIDAY, December 6th Tournament Registration Opens at 8 am

• 8 am Breakfast 

• 8 am Flush, Top Shot, Long bird & Wind Chime Games open 

• 9:30 am Morning Flight Shooters begin 100 Clay Tournament 

• 10 am -Noon Registration for PM shoot

• 11:30- 1:30 Lunch provided 

• 1:00 pm Afternoon Flight Shooters begin 100 Clay Tournament

• 4:30 pm Door Prizes & Awards    

Play Games and Win Guns!

  

TWO-MAN FLUSH - The Two-Man Flush is a game where you and your shooting partner shoot 30 targets in 60 seconds.   All participants are entered into Friday night's Grand Door Prize drawing.  

  

LONG BIRD- Clays at Long Distance with 2 shots at each. Hit the bird and get more chances at door prize tickets!

  

WIND CHIME-  The object is to hit the target and the wind chime.  Once you hit, your round is complete. Every time you hit, your name gets added to Friday's drawing and increases your chances to win the grand door prize. 

WIN A GUN -   Let's be honest... Winning a Gun is Fun and we will be giving away a lot of them. Bring a customer or a friend. Win extra tickets to improve your chances.

  

Compete in our special TOP SHOT COURSE -

Featuring, Paintball, Archery, 700 foot plus Air Cannon and more. Earn extra tickets for the door prizes while having a BLAST!

 This is a team event and classed by a Lewis Class Scoring System Trophies will be given to the HOA teams on each course and flight. To keep your position in the tournament, completed registration forms and entry fees must be in by the deadline. Those teams that fail to meet the deadline will be forfeited and the position will be available for those on our waiting list. Shooters will provide their own ammunition and eye and ear protection.  

LIVE AUCTION - Come prepared for the "LIVE AUCTION" where we will Give One and Auction One of the following Hunting and Fishing Trips: 

  

• 7 day All Inclusive Sports fishing Vacation for Two to Costa Rica  
• 4 Person 3 day Dove Hunt in Cordoba Argentina
• 2 Person Whitetail and Exotic Hunt in the Texas Hill Country
• 4 Person Rocky Mountain Fly Fishing Trip
• 3 Person Upland Game bird Hunt
• 2 Person Spring Turkey Hunt
• 2 Person Helicopter Hog and Predator Hunt

NOTE: Even if you or your company cannot attend these events, Please help support this effort by  calling 800-277-1647 for ways to help. Thank you in advance! 

The Oil and Gas Exploration and Production Industry has historically been a very cyclical industry that fatigues even the best of equipment and personnel. If we as an industry do not invest in health, education and welfare programs, 

we will lose our most valuable assets...... our hard working people.

Oilfield Appreciation Days support Oilfield Worker Health, Education and Welfare efforts, locally and abroad..

Our Mission:

Oilfield Appreciation Days are held through-out the year in areas with high concentrations of oilfield families. These events will serve as fundraisers that will in turn be used to benefit a variety of health, education and welfare programs and charities that stay in direct contact with oilfield workers and their families

Call Scott Huggins - Oilfield Appreciation Days Event Coordinator 

at 940-393-6200 or email 

scott@OilfieldAppreciation.com for details. 

  

Oilfield Joke: How to Get Hired as a Greeter at Walmart

A manager at Wal-Mart had the task of hiring someone to fill a job opening. After sorting through a stack of resumes he found four people who were equally qualified. He decided to call the four in and ask them only one question. Their answer would determine which of them would get the job.

The day came and as the four sat around the conference room table, the interviewer asked, 'What is the fastest thing you know of?'

The first man replied, 'A THOUGHT.' It just pops into your head. There's no warning.

'That's very good!' replied the interviewer. 'And, now you sir?', he asked the second man.

'Hmmm...let me see 'A blink! It comes and goes and you don't know that it ever happened. A BLINK is the fastest thing I know of.'

'Excellent!' said the interviewer. 'The blink of an eye, that's a very popular cliché for speed.' He then turned to the third man, who was contemplating his reply.

'Well, out at my dad's ranch, you step out of the house and on the wall there's a light switch. When you flip that switch, way out across the pasture the light on the barn comes on in less than an instant. 'Yep, TURNING ON A LIGHT is the fastest thing I can think of'.

The interviewer was very impressed with the third answer and thought he had found his man. 'It's hard to beat the speed of light,' he said.

Turning to Tom the retired Toolpusher, the fourth and final man, the interviewer posed the same question.

Old Tom replied, 'After hearing the previous three answers, it's obvious to me that the fastest thing known is DIARRHEA.'

'WHAT!?' said the interviewer, stunned by the response.

'Oh sure', said Tom. 'You see, the other day,  I wasn't feeling so good, and I ran for the bathroom, but before I could THINK, BLINK, or TURN ON THE LIGHT, I had already messed my pants.'

Tom the retired Toolpusher is now the new greeter at a Wal-Mart near you!

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Last Blast 2013"

Friday December 6th

Oilfield Appreciation - Sporting Clay Classic

"Benefiting local Oilfield Worker Health, Education and Welfare Programs"

at the Rio Brazos Hunting Preserve located near Simonton,Texas

(directions)

For Online Registration Click Here

>> DOWNLOAD BROCHURE HERE<<

 If you like Adventure, you do not want to miss this event. Tens of Thousands of Dollars worth of Guns, Door Prizes and Auction Items featuring over 7 different Hunting, Fishing and Vacation Adventure Trips to Argentina and Costa Rica and more....

TOURNAMENT AGENDA

5 shooter team. 2 courses of 12 stations featuring true and report pairs. 

Friday 9:30 am and 1:00 pm flights.

FRIDAY, December 6th Tournament Registration Opens at 8 am

• 8 am Breakfast 

• 8 am Flush, Top Shot, Long bird & Wind Chime Games open 

• 9:30 am Morning Flight Shooters begin 100 Clay Tournament 

• 10 am -Noon Registration for PM shoot

• 11:30- 1:30 Lunch provided 

• 1:00 pm Afternoon Flight Shooters begin 100 Clay Tournament

• 4:30 pm Door Prizes & Awards    

Play Games and Win Guns!

  

TWO-MAN FLUSH - The Two-Man Flush is a game where you and your shooting partner shoot 30 targets in 60 seconds.   All participants are entered into Friday night's Grand Door Prize drawing.  

  

LONG BIRD- Clays at Long Distance with 2 shots at each. Hit the bird and get more chances at door prize tickets!

  

WIND CHIME-  The object is to hit the target and the wind chime.  Once you hit, your round is complete. Every time you hit, your name gets added to Friday's drawing and increases your chances to win the grand door prize. 

WIN A GUN -   Let's be honest... Winning a Gun is Fun and we will be giving away a lot of them. Bring a customer or a friend. Win extra tickets to improve your chances.

  

Compete in our special TOP SHOT COURSE -

Featuring, Paintball, Archery, 700 foot plus Air Cannon and more. Earn extra tickets for the door prizes while having a BLAST!

 This is a team event and classed by a Lewis Class Scoring System Trophies will be given to the HOA teams on each course and flight. To keep your position in the tournament, completed registration forms and entry fees must be in by the deadline. Those teams that fail to meet the deadline will be forfeited and the position will be available for those on our waiting list. Shooters will provide their own ammunition and eye and ear protection.  

LIVE AUCTION - Come prepared for the "LIVE AUCTION" where we will Give One and Auction One of the following Hunting and Fishing Trips: 

  

• 7 day All Inclusive Sports fishing Vacation for Two to Costa Rica  
• 4 Person 3 day Dove Hunt in Cordoba Argentina
• 2 Person Whitetail and Exotic Hunt in the Texas Hill Country
• 4 Person Rocky Mountain Fly Fishing Trip
• 3 Person Upland Game bird Hunt
• 2 Person Spring Turkey Hunt
• 2 Person Helicopter Hog and Predator Hunt

NOTE: Even if you or your company cannot attend these events, Please help support this effort by  calling 800-277-1647 for ways to help. Thank you in advance! 

The Oil and Gas Exploration and Production Industry has historically been a very cyclical industry that fatigues even the best of equipment and personnel. If we as an industry do not invest in health, education and welfare programs, 

we will lose our most valuable assets...... our hard working people.

Oilfield Appreciation Days support Oilfield Worker Health, Education and Welfare efforts, locally and abroad..

Our Mission:

Oilfield Appreciation Days are held through-out the year in areas with high concentrations of oilfield families. These events will serve as fundraisers that will in turn be used to benefit a variety of health, education and welfare programs and charities that stay in direct contact with oilfield workers and their families

Call Scott Huggins - Oilfield Appreciation Days Event Coordinator 

at 940-393-6200 or email 

scott@OilfieldAppreciation.com for details. 

  


Contact Scott Huggins for more information about Sponsorship and Registrations. Info@OilfieldAppreciation.com or by phone at 800-277-1647