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Wednesday, November 19, 2014

Oilfield Joke: The Oilman's Widow...

An elderly widow of an Oilman did her shopping 
and, upon returning to her car, found four males in the act of leaving with her vehicle.

She dropped her shopping bags and drew her handgun, proceeding to scream with her feeble voice at the top of her lungs, 

"I have a gun, and I know how to use it! Get out of the car!"

The four men didn't wait for a second threat. 

They got out and ran like mad. 

The lady, somewhat shaken, then proceeded to load her shopping bags into the back of the car and got into the driver's seat.

She was so shaken that she could not get her key into the ignition.

She tried and tried, and then she realized why.

 It was for the same reason she had wondered why there was a football, a Frisbee, and two 12-packs of beer in the front seat.

 A few minutes later, she found her own car parked four or five spaces farther down.

 She loaded her bags into the car and drove to the police station to report her mistake.

 The sergeant to whom she told the story couldn't stop laughing.

 He pointed to the other end of the counter, where four pale men were reporting a car jacking by a mad, elderly woman described as white, less than five feet tall, glasses, curly white hair, and carrying a large handgun.

 No charges were filed.

 Moral of the story? If you're going to have a senior moment...make it memorable.


  • December 5, 2014 - "Last Blast 2014" Sporting Clay Classic at Rio Brazos Shooting Preserve in Simonton, Texas. 
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      For more information about Oilfield Appreciation Event Sponsorship and Registrations. 


      Info@OilfieldAppreciation.com or by phone at 800-277-1647

      Tuesday, November 11, 2014

      Oilfield Joke: Two Roughneck's apply for a job....

      Two roughnecks were applying for the position of Toolpusher. 

      If they failed, they would be let go. 

      The application was fill-in-the-blank. 

      The last question read, "Old MacDonald had a _________." Bubba was stumped. 

      He had no idea what to answer. But he knew he needed to get this one right to be sure he would be considered for the job. 

      Making sure the HR person wasn't watching, he tapped Tiny on the shoulder.

       "Pssst. Tiny. What's the answer to the last question?" 

      Tiny laughed. 

      He looked around to make sure no one was watching, then he turned to Bubba. 

      "Bubba, you're so stupid. Everyone knows Old MacDonald had a FARM." 

      "Oh yeah," said Bubba. "I remember now." He picked up his No. 2 pencil and started to write the answer in the blank.

       He stopped. Tapping Tiny's shoulder again, he whispered, "Tiny, how do you spell farm?" 

      "You are really dumb, Bubba. That's so easy. 

      Farm is spelled E-I-E-I-O." 
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      We have had a great year so far. This is the last of 6 events for the year! Get Signed up Today, as we are already filling up! 


      • December 5, 2014 - "Last Blast 2014" Sporting Clay Classic at Rio Brazos Shooting Preserve in Simonton, Texas. 
      Gusher Level Sponsors



      http://www.tulsainspection.com/
      Food Sponsor

        For more information about Oilfield Appreciation Event Sponsorship and Registrations. 


        Info@OilfieldAppreciation.com or by phone at 800-277-1647

        Tuesday, November 4, 2014

        Oilfield Joke: A Roughneck's Letter from Home...

        Dear son, 

        Im writing this slow cause i know you cant read fast.

        Your pop read that all accidents happen within 20 miles of home so we moved.

        Can't send you the address as the last arkansas family that lived here took the numbers with them so they wouldnt have to change their address. 

        That coat you wanted, aunt billy-mae said it was too heavy with them buttons, so we took them off and put them in the pockets. 

        Your sister had a baby yester morn. Don't know if its a boy or girl so dont know if youre an aunt or uncle. 

        Three of your friends went off the bridge last week. One was drivig the other two were in the back. The driver lived, he rolled down the window and swam to safety. The other two drowned, they coulnt get the talegate down. 

        Please write back. It you dont get this letter, let me know and i will send another one. 

        Love, ma

        SHOOTERS, SPONSORS AND VOLUNTEERS Wanted!

        Registration is OPEN for the last Oilfield Appreciation Event of the year! This will be the big one as it is the last sporting clay event to be held at Rio Brazos. 
         
        Do not miss these opportunities to bring your customers have some Sporting Clay Fun and win some great door prizes! While supporting Oilfield Workers Health, Education and Welfare efforts. 
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