Oilfield Joke: Salesman's stop goes South....

I was coming back from making sales calls in South Texas, it was a long drive home and it was pretty far between towns. 

I stopped at a drilling location to use the bathroom.

Thankfully, they had just delivered a fresh set of porta-johns. 

I just sat down on the toilet when I heard a voice coming from the porta-john next to mine, 

“Hey! How’s it going?” 

Although I was quite surprised, and I wasn’t in the habit of conversing to the people next to me in the john, 

I was in Texas however and the people seemed to be friendly everywhere I went. 

So, I answered him, 

“I’m fine” I said “thanks for asking.”

“What are you doing?” Asked the same voice

To be honest I was a bit taken aback by the brazenness of this fellow, 

but I would never ignore anyone so I calmly answered, 

“I’m releaving myself.”

Then I heard the same voice again, 

“Honey, I’m going to have to call you back, some smart-aleck in the next john is answering all of my questions.”

We Want You! 

The Oilfield Appreciation North Texas Sporting Clay Classic will be here before you know it!

Do Not Let this Opportunity Slip Away!

• July 29th, 2016 – 5th Annual NORTH TEXAS SPORTING CLAY CLASSIC at the Dallas Gun Club in Lewisville, Texas.

>>Brochure<< 

>>Online Registration<<

___________________________________________________

• September 9th, 2016 – 5th Annual PERMIAN BASIN SPORTING CLAY CLASSIC at Jake’s Clays in Midland, Texas.

>>Brochure<< 

>>Online Registration<<

___________________________________________________

• December  9th, 2016 – 4th Annual LAST BLAST SPORTING CLAY CLASSIC at Westside Sporting Grounds in Katy, Texas.

 >>Brochure<<  

 >>Online Registration<< 

___________________________________________________

For more information about Oilfield Appreciation Event Sponsorship and Registrations. Please Contact the Event Coordinator at

Info@OilfieldAppreciation.com or by phone at 800-277-1647

We appreciate our past sponsors

Several  sponsorships are still available that offer great exposure by way of positive company participation to our audience of Oil & Gas industry decision makers consisting of Exploration and Production companies, Drilling Contractors, Well Servicing Contractors, Landmen, Geologists and Engineers and more. (If you sell products or services to the oilfield, this is a great way to see and be seen) Please review the sponsor links which shows our most recent updates to our corporate sponsorship levels that start as low as $250.

We hope to raise and give away over $100,000 before the years end, please consider supporting these very worthwhile Oilfield Appreciation Events, that help oilfield families in financial crisis, continuing education for laid off workers and scholarships for men and women wishing to contribute to our industry.

The Oil and Gas Exploration and Production Industry has historically been a very cyclical industry that fatigues even the best of equipment and personnel. If we as an industry do not invest in health, education and welfare programs,  we will lose our most valuable assets...... our hard working people. Oilfield Appreciation Days support Oilfield Worker Health, Education and Welfare efforts, locally and abroad.. Our Mission: Oilfield Appreciation Days are held through-out the year in areas with high concentrations of oilfield families. These events will serve as fundraisers that will in turn be used to benefit a variety of health, education and welfare programs and charities that stay in direct contact with oilfield workers and their families    Call Scott Huggins - Oilfield Appreciation Days Event Coordinator  at 940-393-6200 or email scott@OilfieldAppreciation.com for details.     PS.  Please help us get the word out to the people on your lists by forwarding this email to the people in your organization that would support this effort.

Oilfield Joke: The Elderly Oilman tries technology..

While he was visiting, my father, a retired Oil and Gas man, was grinning ear to ear when he reached into his pocket to retrieve his phone. 

He had decided to get himself a "smart phone" to be able to keep up with the grand kids via social media and his production activity via an application. 

Unfortunately for him, this new fangled technology had him very lost in a world of new words and phrases.  

As proud as a peacock, he tried out some of his new vocabulary when asked for the password to our "Wi-Fi".

“It’s taped under the modem,” 
I told him.

After three failed attempts to log on, he asked,

 “Am I spelling this right? 

T-A-P-E-D-U-N-D-E-R-T-H-E-M-O-D-E-M?”

Join us for our 2016 Oilfield Appreciation Sporting Clay Events: 

• July 29th, 2016 – 5th Annual NORTH TEXAS SPORTING CLAY CLASSIC at the Dallas Gun Club in Lewisville, Texas.

>>Brochure<< 

>>Online Registration<<

___________________________________________________

• September 9th, 2016 – 5th Annual PERMIAN BASIN SPORTING CLAY CLASSIC at Jake’s Clays in Midland, Texas.

>>Brochure<< 

>>Online Registration<<

___________________________________________________

• December  9th, 2016 – 4th Annual LAST BLAST SPORTING CLAY CLASSIC at Westside Sporting Grounds in Katy, Texas.

 >>Brochure<<  

 >>Online Registration<< 

___________________________________________________

For more information about Oilfield Appreciation Event Sponsorship and Registrations. Please Contact the Event Coordinator at

Info@OilfieldAppreciation.com or by phone at 800-277-1647

We appreciate our past sponsors

Oilfield Joke: 29 Useless but Interesting Facts...

All of the clocks in movie Pulp Fiction are stuck on 4:20.

If she were life size, Barbie's measurements would be: 39-23-33.

No word in the English language rhymes with month, orange, silver or purple.

"Dreamt" is the only English word that ends in the letters "mt".

All 50 states are listed across the top of the Lincoln Memorial on the back of the $5 bill.

Almonds are members of the peach family.

Winston Churchill was born in a ladies' room during a dance.

Maine is the only state whose name is just one syllable.

There are only four words in the English language which end in"-dous": tremendous, horrendous, stupendous, and hazardous.

The longest place-name still in use is: Taumatawhakatangihangakoauauotamateaturipukakapikimaungahoronukupokaiwenuakitanatahu, a New Zealand hill.

Los Angeles's full name is "El Pueblo de Nuestra Senora la Reina de los Angeles de Porciuncula" and can be abbreviated to 3.63% of its size, "L.A.".

A cat has 32 muscles in each ear.

An ostrich's eye is bigger than it's brain.

Tigers have striped skin, not just striped fur.

In most advertisements, including newspapers, the time displayed on a watch is 10:10.

Al Capone's business card said he was a used furniture dealer.

The only real person to be a Pez head was Betsy Ross.

The characters Bert and Ernie on Sesame Street were named after Bert the cop and Ernie the taxi driver in Frank Capra's "Its A Wonderful Life".

A goldfish has a memory span of three seconds.

A dime has 118 ridges around the edge.

On an American one-dollar bill, there is an owl in the upper left-hand corner of the "1" encased in the "shield" and a spider hidden in the front upper right-hand corner.

The giant squid has the largest eyes in the world.

The name for Oz in the "Wizard of Oz" was thought up when the creator, Frank Baum, looked at his filing cabinet and saw A-N, and O-Z, hence "Oz". 

The microwave was invented after a researcher walked by a radar tube and a chocolate bar melted in his pocket.

Mr. Rogers was an ordained minister.

John Lennon's first girlfriend was named Thelma Pickles.

The average person falls asleep in seven minutes.

There are 336 dimples on a regulation golf ball.

Assuming proper typing, "Stewardesses" is the longest word that is typed with only the left hand. 

Join us this Thursday May 12th, in San Antonio for the 5th annual 

Oilfield Appreciation South Texas Sporting Clay Classic at the National Shooting Complex. 

We are still accepting Individual and 4 Shooter Teams. 

Call 800-277-1647 for more info or to register.  

 >>Brochure  

>>Online Registration

Oilfield Joke: Oil and Gas Operator Seeks Advice

The oil and gas operator was in a big financial trouble... 

 He had bought and contracted several thousand acres of minerals thinking that the area was the next big play, and instead, it was a bust.  It was so bad he was even contemplating becoming a roughneck again.

As a last resort, he went to see a priest and poured out his story of tears and woe.

When he finished, the priest said, "Here's what I want you to do... Put a beach chair and a Bible in your car and drive up in the mountains to the lake. Take the chair and the Bible to the water's edge, sit down in the chair, and put the Bible in your lap. Open the Bible... The wind will rifle the pages, but finally the open Bible will come to rest on a page. Look down at the page and read the first thing you see. That will be your answer... That will tell you what to do."

A year later the oil and gas operator was back to see the priest. The operator was driving a new Lincoln and wearing a pair of high-dollar boots and an expensive felt hat. The operator pulled an envelope stuffed with money out of his pocket and gave it to the priest as a donation in thanks for the advice.

The priest recognized the benefactor, and was curious. "You did as I suggested?" he asked.

"Absolutely," replied the oil and gas operator.

"You went to the lake?"

"Absolutely."

"You sat in a beach chair with the Bible on your lap?"

"Absolutely."

"You let the pages rifle until they stopped?"

"Absolutely."

"And what were the first words you saw?"

"Chapter 11."

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What are you doing next Thursday? 

join us for the

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