Oilfield Joke: Blonde Secretary's Old Car...

A blonde secretary made several attempts to sell her old car. She was having a lot of problems finding a buyer because the car had 340,000 miles on it. She discussed her problem with a friend that she worked with in the office.

The friend suggested, "There may be a chance to make selling that car a little easier, but it's not going to be legal."

"That doesn't matter at all," replied the blonde. "All that matters it that I am able to sell this car."

"Alright," replied the friend.

In a quiet voice, she told the blonde: "Here is the address of a friend of mine. He owns a car repair shop around here.

Tell him I sent you, and he will turn the odometer back on your car to 40,000 miles. Then it shouldn't be a problem to sell your car."

The following weekend, the blonde took a trip to the mechanic on the friend's advice.


About one month after that, the friend saw the blonde secretary and asked, "Did you sell your car?"


"No!" replied the blonde. "Why should I? It only has 40,000 miles on it."

MARK YOUR CALENDARS

 Cook Teams, Sponsors and Volunteers do not get left out this year. First Come, First Served. 

2014 Oilfield Appreciation Event Dates & Forms

• April 18, 2014 -South Texas - Eagle Ford Shale Sporting Clay Classic at the National Shooting Complex in San Antonio, Texas. >>Brochure<<  >>Online Registration<<

• May 23, 2014 - North Texas - Barnett Shale Sporting Clay Classic at Alpine Shooting Range in Fort Worth, Texas.>>Brochure<<  >>Online Registration<<

• July 25, 2014 - Ark La Tex Sporting Clay Classic at Prairie Creek Sporting Clays in Tyler, Texas. >>Brochure<< >>Online Registration<<

• September 11, 2014 - West Texas - Permian Basin Sporting Clay Memorial at Jakes Clays in Midland, Texas. >>Brochure<<  >>Online Registration<<

• October 3, 2014 - Mid-Continent Sporting Clay Classicat Quail Ridge Sporting Clays in Oklahoma City, Oklahoma. >>Brochure<<  >>Online Registration<<

• December 5, 2014 - "Last Blast 2014" Sporting Clay Classic at Rio Brazos Shooting Preserve in Simonton, Texas. >>Brochure<<  >>Online Registration<<

For more information about Oilfield Appreciation Event Sponsorship and Registrations. 

Info@OilfieldAppreciation.com or by phone at 800-277-1647

Oilfield Joke: Smart Drilling Engineers? ....

Three drilling engineers and three accountants are traveling by train to a conference.

At the station, the three accountants each buy tickets and watch as the three engineers buy only a single ticket.

”How are three people going to travel on only one ticket?” asks an accountant.

”Watch and you’ll see,” answers an engineer. All of them board the train.

The accountants take their respective seats but all three engineers cram into a restroom and close the door behind them.Shortly after the train has departed, the conductor comes around collecting tickets. 

He knocks on the restroom door and says, “Ticket, please.”

The door opens just a crack and a single arm emerges with a ticket in hand. 

The conductor takes it and moves on.The accountants saw this and agreed it was  a clever idea.

So after the conference, the accountants decide to copy the engineers on the return trip and save some money .
When they get to the station they buy a single ticket for the return trip.

To their astonishment, the engineers don’t buy a ticket at all.”How are you going to travel without a ticket?” says one perplexed accountant.

”Watch and you’ll see,” answers an engineer.

When they board the train the three accountants cram into a restroom and the three engineers cram into another one nearby. 

The train departs.

Shortly afterward, one of the engineers leaves his restroom and walks over to the restroom where the accountants are hiding.

He knocks on the door and says, “Ticket, please.”

SOUTH TEXAS – EAGLE FORD

OILFIELD APPRECIATION

SPORTING CLAY CLASSIC

April 18, 2014

AT THE NATIONAL SHOOTING COMPLEX IN SAN ANTONIO, TEXAS.

>>>Download Brochure Here<<<

or

>>>Register Online Here<<<

Benefiting Oilfield Families Health, Education and Welfare Programs

YOU DO NOT WANT TO MISS THIS ONE! LAST YEAR HAD OVER 400 SHOOTERS!

   

We will be giving away thousands of $$’s worth Door Prizes including: GUNS, Hunting and Fishing trips, Costa Rica Vacations, Outdoor Gear, Electronics and much much more!

TOURNAMENT AGENDA

100 each - 5 man team limit. 2 courses of 12 stations featuring true and report pairs.  Friday 9:30 am and 1:00 pm flights.

FRIDAY, April 19th Tournament Registration Opens at 9 am

·            8 am Breakfast 

·            9 am Flush, Flurry, Top Shot,  Long bird  & Wind Chime Games open 

·            9:30 am Morning Flight Shooters begin  100 Clay Tournament 

·            10 am -Noon Registration for PM shoot

·            11:30- 1:30 Lunch provided   

·            1:00 pm Afternoon Flight Shooters begin 100 Clay Tournament

·            4:00  pm Door Prizes & Awards 

Play Games and Win Guns!

TWO-MAN FLUSH - The Two-Man Flush is a game where you and your shooting partner shoot 30 targets in 60 seconds.   LONG BIRD- Clays at Long Distance with 2 shots at each.  WIND CHIME- The object is to hit the target and the wind chime at the same time.   WIN A GUN -   Let’s be honest… Winning a Gun is Fun and we will be giving away a lot of them. Bring a customer or a friend. Win extra tickets to improve your chances. Compete in our special TOP SHOT COURSE – Featuring, Paintball, Archery, 700 foot plus Air Cannon and more. Earn extra tickets for the door prizes while having a BLAST!

This is a team event. Trophies will be given to the HOA teams and Individuals on each course. Registration deadline is April 11, 2014.  To keep your position in the tournament, completed registration forms and entry fees must be in by the deadline. Those teams that fail to meet the deadline will be forfeited and the position will be available for those on our waiting list. Shooters will provide their own ammunition and eye and ear protection.  

LIVE AUCTION - Come prepared for the "LIVE AUCTION" where we will Give One and Auction One of the following Hunting and Fishing Trips: 

• 7 day All Inclusive Sports fishing Vacation for Two to Costa Rica  
• 4 Person 3 day Dove Hunt in Cordoba Argentina
• 2 Person Whitetail and Exotic Hunt in the Texas Hill Country
• 4 Person Rocky Mountain Fly Fishing Trip
• 2 Person Upland Game bird Hunt
• 2 Person Spring Turkey Hunt
• 2 Person Night time Hog and Predator Hunt
• 2 Person Helicopter Hog and Predator Hunt

Oilfield Joke: I'm a Tired Toolpusher....

For a couple of years I’ve been blaming it on lack of sleep and too much pressure from my job, but now I know the real reason: 

I’m tired because I’m overworked.

The population of this country is 237 million. 104 million are retired. By my math, That leaves 133 million to do the work.

There are 85 million in school, which leaves 48 million to do the work.

Of this there are 29 million employed by the federal government, leaving 19 million to do the work.

2.8 million are in the Armed Forces, which leaves 16.2 million to do the work.

Take from the total the 14,800,000 people who work for State and City Governments and by my math that leaves 1.4 million to do the work.

At any given time there are 188,000 people in hospitals, leaving 1,212,000 to do the work.

Now, there are 1,211,998 people in prisons. 

By my math, That leaves just two people to do the work. 

You and me.

And you’re looking at the internet reading jokes!

SOUTH TEXAS – EAGLE FORD

OILFIELD APPRECIATION

SPORTING CLAY CLASSIC

April 18, 2014

AT THE NATIONAL SHOOTING COMPLEX IN SAN ANTONIO, TEXAS.

>>>Download Brochure Here<<<

or

>>>Register Online Here<<<

Benefiting Oilfield Families Health, Education and Welfare Programs

YOU DO NOT WANT TO MISS THIS ONE! LAST YEAR HAD OVER 400 SHOOTERS!

   

We will be giving away thousands of $$’s worth Door Prizes including: GUNS, Hunting and Fishing trips, Costa Rica Vacations, Outdoor Gear, Electronics and much much more!

TOURNAMENT AGENDA

100 each - 5 man team limit. 2 courses of 12 stations featuring true and report pairs.  Friday 9:30 am and 1:00 pm flights.

FRIDAY, April 19th Tournament Registration Opens at 9 am

·            8 am Breakfast 

·            9 am Flush, Flurry, Top Shot,  Long bird  & Wind Chime Games open 

·            9:30 am Morning Flight Shooters begin  100 Clay Tournament 

·            10 am -Noon Registration for PM shoot

·            11:30- 1:30 Lunch provided   

·            1:00 pm Afternoon Flight Shooters begin 100 Clay Tournament

·            4:00  pm Door Prizes & Awards 

Play Games and Win Guns!

TWO-MAN FLUSH - The Two-Man Flush is a game where you and your shooting partner shoot 30 targets in 60 seconds.   LONG BIRD- Clays at Long Distance with 2 shots at each.  WIND CHIME- The object is to hit the target and the wind chime at the same time.   WIN A GUN -   Let’s be honest… Winning a Gun is Fun and we will be giving away a lot of them. Bring a customer or a friend. Win extra tickets to improve your chances. Compete in our special TOP SHOT COURSE – Featuring, Paintball, Archery, 700 foot plus Air Cannon and more. Earn extra tickets for the door prizes while having a BLAST!

This is a team event. Trophies will be given to the HOA teams and Individuals on each course. Registration deadline is April 11, 2014.  To keep your position in the tournament, completed registration forms and entry fees must be in by the deadline. Those teams that fail to meet the deadline will be forfeited and the position will be available for those on our waiting list. Shooters will provide their own ammunition and eye and ear protection.  

LIVE AUCTION - Come prepared for the "LIVE AUCTION" where we will Give One and Auction One of the following Hunting and Fishing Trips: 

• 7 day All Inclusive Sports fishing Vacation for Two to Costa Rica  
• 4 Person 3 day Dove Hunt in Cordoba Argentina
• 2 Person Whitetail and Exotic Hunt in the Texas Hill Country
• 4 Person Rocky Mountain Fly Fishing Trip
• 2 Person Upland Game bird Hunt
• 2 Person Spring Turkey Hunt
• 2 Person Night time Hog and Predator Hunt
• 2 Person Helicopter Hog and Predator Hunt

Oilfield Appreciation  – OilfieldAppreciation.com  Phone/Fax 800-277-1647 email: Info@ OilfieldAppreciation.com

 

South Texas – Eagle Ford

Oilfield Appreciation Sporting Clay Classic

National Shooting Complex in San Antonio, Texas

Friday April 18th 2014

Entry Deadline: April 11th, 2014

FAX THIS FORM TO 800-277-1647

Participation Opportunities	Details	Total
5 Shooter Team $1250	5 Shooter Team with Captain will be eligible for combined team scores. Awards for high scores. Includes 1 Golf Cart
Individual Shooter $250	Will be matched up with a Team. No guarantees for Team Placement.
Sponsor Opportunities
Gusher Level Sponsor $5000	20 Shooters (4 teams of 5) - Top Level Recognition in all materials, announcements and signage - Use of Golf Carts - Oilfield Appreciation Award - Tickets for Special Drawing for Door Prize
Black Gold Level Sponsor $3000	10 Shooters (2 teams of 5) - Top Level Recognition announcements and signage - Use of Golf Carts - Oilfield Appreciation Award - Tickets for Special Drawing for Door Prize
Basin Level Sponsor Shooting Station (hosted)  $1500	5 Shooters - Recognition in announcements and signage - Oilfield Appreciation Award - Tickets for Special Drawing for Door Prize
Shooting Towel Logo Sponsor $1500	Company Logo on 400 + Shooting Towels
Breakfast $1500	Company Recognition at Breakfast and Signage
Lunch $1500	Company Recognition at Luncheon and Signage
Beverage $1500	Company Recognition at Beverage Stations
Live & Silent Auction $500 or Donations	Company Recognition at Live Auction
Shooting Station Signage Sponsor $250	Company Recognition on Shooting Station Signage
Golf Cart $250	Company Signage on a Golf Cart
Gun Board Sponsor $1000 or Gun	Company Name Recognition on the Gun Raffle Board
Supporting Opportunities	Even if you cannot attend the Events, please help support this effort with a sponsorship from below:
Producer or Operator $250	Name Recognition on Website and Newsletters and special door prize drawing
Landman $250	Name Recognition on Website and Newsletters and special door prize drawing
Engineer or Geologist $250	Name Recognition on Website and Newsletters and special door prize drawing
Drilling Contractor $250	Name Recognition on Website and Newsletters and special door prize drawing
Well Service Contractor $250	Name Recognition on Website and Newsletters and special door prize drawing
Royalty Owner $250	Name Recognition on Website and Newsletters  and special door prize drawing
	Please use the following Page for Payment…….Grand Total	$

                                                           

	Oilfield Appreciation – OilfieldAppreciation.com  Phone/Fax 800-277-1647 email: Info@ OilfieldAppreciation.com

 

South Texas – Eagle Ford Sporting Clay Classic

National Shooting Complex in San Antonio Texas

April 18th 2014

1.  Team Captain:______________________________Company: _____________________________

E-mail:______________________________________PHONE___________________________

(Team Captain is needed for registration all other shooters may be listed on the day of the shoot)

2. Name: __________________________________Company: _______________________________

E-mail:_____________________________________PHONE____________________________

3. Name:  _____________________________ Company:____________________________________

E-mail:____________________________________PHONE_____________________________

4. Name:_________________________________ Company:_________________________________

E-mail:______________________________________PHONE___________________________

5. Name:_____________________________________Company:_______________________________

E-mail:_____________________________________PHONE____________________________

 Please circle starting time desired, times will be assigned first paid, first served.

    Friday 9:30 AM             Friday 1:00 PM

Please complete the Payment information below:

Company Name: _______________________________________________________________________

First Name, Last Name:__________________________________________________________________

Address: ___________________________________City _______________State______Zip:__________

E-mail:__________________________________Alternative e-mail:______________________________

Office #: ______________________________Mobile #: _______________________________________

Please PRINT exactly how you would like your individual or company name to appear in printed material (where applicable)_______________________________________________________________

I cannot attend the Oilfield Appreciation - Sporting Clay Classic , but I would like to make a contribution.  Enclosed is my check in the amount of $___________________.

______ I would like to pay by check. MAIL TO: OAD P.O. Box 162329 Fort Worth Texas, 76161

______I would like to pay by credit card:   My Total is $___________________ Please include Form.

  

_____VISA  _____MC ___AMEX       Authorized Signature____________________________________

Card #_______________________________________Exp.Date___________CSS:_____3 digits on back

Billing Address:________________________________________________________________________

FAX THIS FORM TO 800-277-1647 or  Email to Scott@8002771647.com Make checks payable to:

 Oilfield Appreciation LLC       P.O. Box 162329       Fort Worth, Texas 76161

Questions or Comments please contact Scott Huggins – Oilfield Appreciation - Event Coordinator 940-393-6200 cell